But no. Have a great weekend. Enjoy your night with Rico. Goodbye forever or whatever.
How can I have developed feelings like this for him so quickly? Is it because I’ve been single too long? Or is it because it’s him?
I drop the book to my lap. It had no hope of capturing me right now. Sorry, paladin guy, but I’m still too in the middle of my own story to start yours. I throw my head back and shut my eyes, exasperated.
That exasperation turns into exhaustion.
Then I find myself lulled into a state of pure fantasy.
Kent, standing there, slowly stripping off his clothes. “I wanna play you a song,” he says, smirking.
Oh, it’s Dream Kent again. He’s come back because real Kent fucked off. And Dream Kent is ten times more powerful apparently because now I know what it’s like to be with him.
And it’s everything and more than what Dream Kent can do. I think Dream Kent knows it, because he’s working hard to outdo the real Kent, like they’re rivals. He puts his fingers on my right leg, grinning devilishly, then slowly starts to crawl his fingers up my leg like a little scorpion. Where is he headed? Kent’s fingers reach my kneecap. Then my thigh. Then my inner thigh. Wow … It feels so real.
Too real.
I pop open my eyes.
A crab is inching toward my crotch.
“FUCKING HELL!” I shout out, kicking my leg and swatting at the fell beast. Whatever I do causes it to fly off my body like my dick just became a catapult, and where it lands, I will never know. Most likely somewhere as far as the dead center of the Gulf of Mexico.
“Jonah!!”
I spin around, wide-eyed and freaked out. When I recognize my friend’s face approaching, I sigh with relief. “Rico, oh my god.”
“Jonah, Jonah, Jonah!” In just a tiny, bright red pair of Speedos and sunglasses, he saunters over the sand and hops onto the empty chair next to me. “Boy, have I got some tea for you.”
“I want to hear all of it, but first, I got you something.” I thrust the gift bag at him. He lifts his shades, then fishes a hand inside. When he pulls out the dildo—which literally looks like some kind of freaky inhuman alien dick, but sparkly, pinkish in hue, and translucent—he gasps at it. “Oh my god, is this a dragon’s dick?”
“Something like that. I made this joke about it being a gag gift to the clerk, and—”
“—and he made a joke about actually gagging, yeah, got it. Wow, Jonah, this ain’t no gag gift. This thing is some serious business! Oh, it has ‘Where Dream Men Are Made’ written along the side. Cute. Is that Dreamwood Isle’s slogan? Does this place have a slogan?” He shrugs, slides the gift back into the bag, then smiles at me. “Thanks so much, Jonah. You’re so thoughtful. Always putting me and my anal needs before your own.”
“Your anal happiness is my one and only priority.”
Rico chortles at that and swats me. “Truly, I appreciate it. Very thoughtful. Ugh, now I wish I got you something!”
“You did! The masseuse, remember?”
“Oh, right! Actually …” He snorts. “It went to the room card. So, um … you technically paid for it. But I’m gonna Venmo your ass the amount as soon as we get back home, because that was intended as a gift. Oh, did you ‘finish’, by the way?” Rico lifts an eyebrow. “I did pay him to give you that happy ending.”
I stare at him. “You what?”
“Well? Did he?”
It was called a ‘sensual massage’ service. What did I expect? I guess I just didn’t realize it was something very intentional that Rico got me. “I mean, isn’t that basically prostitution? Did you seriously pay for that?”
“You still haven’t answered.”
I shelve that whole thing for now. “You said you had tea to spill?”
“Okay, I’ll assume you got off, and it was amazing.” He leans forward. “Now have I got the story for you. After you and what’s-his-name interrupted us, Adrian and I finished dessert—well, more accurately, I finished my dessert of him—and I swear, this island has no end. Apparently there’s another resort on the north end near the harbor and the fair called Sunnyview, and it is a gay singles mecca, Jonah. I’m not even kidding. It must be where everyone else is staying. We met up with these two super cute guys by the pool drinking cocktails. One of them would’ve totally been your type, by the way. They had a room up on the very top floor that overlooked, like, everything, and …” Rico sighs and shakes his head. “You should have been there. Ugh, I wish I could’ve taken you up there with me. It was fucking glorious. Even while the two cute guys started blowing me on the chaise—literally, my cock was a popsicle and they took turns—I was leaning back and just thinking: Jonah should be here.”