“I’m glad you came too.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” She giggled.
“I know.” I winked. The waiter brought our drinks, and Zara sipped her lemonade with delight, obviously enjoying it more than she’d enjoyed the previous night’s wine. The lemonade reminded me of how young she was, how new she still was to everything.
“So, I’m greedy and want to know more about you,” I started. “What do you want to do after you finish college? You know, before you get that editor position at a top-notch publishing house?”
“I think I want to live in New York,” she said, dropping her gaze to the spinach artichoke dip. “I’ve never been, but I always hear how amazing it is.”
I was tempted to tell her I could take her one day but refrained. I didn’t want to get her hopes up when anything between us after this weekend would be a challenge.
“That sounds fun. Living the city life, chasing your dreams, getting the right jobs to land the dream one.”
She sighed. “That sounds so great, I won’t lie.”
“You’re halfway there,” I assured her.
I found it easy to talk to Zara. Unlike most people her age, she could carry herself well in conversation, and it was refreshing. I found her to be incredibly mature for her age, too. Hell, most adults I knew couldn’t carry themselves in decent conversation, but she was easygoing, simple.
We ate our entrees, and shortly after, I paid the bill. Then we took our time walking back to our room. Zara yawned, and rather than initiate anything more, I kissed her on her forehead and waited for her to change into pajamas. There was a shift now—something that’d changed from dinner to the walk to our hotel room.
Perhaps it was the impending doom—knowing that tomorrow, all of this would be over. An ache formed in my chest and I tried my hardest to get rid of the feeling, but it was hopeless. This attachment wasn’t going to leave. Hell no it wouldn’t because I’d become royally attached to Zara and there was no going back.
She slid into the bed beside me, fitting herself against my side, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I don’t want our weekend to end,” she whispered, resting her head on my chest.
Without thinking, I said, “Stay at my place tomorrow night.” She froze, and I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing. It wouldn’t have been the first time I had a slip of the tongue around her, except I really meant this. Yes, it was our last night here, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t see her one more night when we returned.
“Do you live close to campus?” she asked in a low voice.
“Not close enough that anyone will see you.” I hated how that sounded, like Zara was some dirty secret.
She sighed. “I wish we didn’t have to hide.”
I tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. “I know, but you know it can’t be any other way, Zara. I wish it could but…with my job, with the code of conduct….”
“I know. I know. Trust me, I understand. It’s just hard to think about going back to what we were doing before after such an amazing weekend together.”
“I know.” I sighed, holding her tighter. It sucked to think about, and to be honest, it would’ve been better to just end it after the next night. Rip it off like a Band-Aid and let it go.
Yeah. That was what I’d hoped would happen, but I was only fooling myself by thinking it would play out that way.
23
Zara
Cole grabbed both our suitcases, and I sighed as we walked out of the hotel. Our little weekend away had been so perfect, and I was nervous about what would happen next.
I focused on the small things though, like how Cole held my hand in cab on the way to the airport, how he’d woken me that morning with sweet kisses and then made love to me from behind. I was addicted to how he made me feel when we had sex, the way he touched me, filled me, gave me pleasure, and in return, took pleasure from me. He’d pulled my hair that morning while he sank into me over and over again until I fell apart at the seams. I loved it. He could be sweet when he wanted to be, but I noticed that when I asked him for something rough, his eyes lit up like flames. I could still feel him between my thighs, inside me, and it made me squirm.
Sex aside, I also enjoyed the simple things we did together, like reading in bed or having breakfast on the patio overlooking other buildings and hotels. It felt like we were a couple, and that alone scared me because of our unique circumstances.
Our plane landed just after six that night, and Cole immediately hailed a cab to his apartment building. Fortunately, we didn’t drive past or even through campus to get there, which helped settle my anxiety somewhat. I was still excited about seeing Cole’s apartment though, dying to see what his personal space looked like. I imagined it to be masculine and clean with a reading corner and a bookshelf. Secretly, I blushed when thinking about his bed, because sex in a hotel room is one thing, but in Cole’s bed? I knew that would be different.