I can’t imagine him falling for me. I guess I’ve never seen myself as someone special. There are good things about me. I’m smart. I’ve become fluent in a second language during my time studying Spanish. I’m a kind person. I have a lot of love in my heart and I give it out freely. Perhaps too freely, sometimes. Those are all good things about me.
But men like Ethan…want beautiful women. Why wouldn’t they? He’s so handsome and strong and enticing that he could have anyone in the world. So why wouldn’t he pick the most gorgeous woman in the world? He could have her if he wanted, whoever she is and wherever she might be.
And yet…some part of me clings to hope. Because he’s still alone after all these years. Is he waiting for someone in particular? Has he fallen for someone forbidden? My heart races in my chest at the thought.
Could that woman be me?
I take a deep breath. If I’m going to win him over, then I have to believe that I can. I have to believe that it’s possible that the prince will fall for the peasant. I have to believe that what I have to offer is enough. I straighten my back, staring back at myself, and try to have some faith in myself. Maybe if I can convince myself that I’m worthy, I can convince everyone else too.
I walk over to my wardrobe. Our date isn’t until tomorrow night, a whole day from now, but I need all the time I can to prepare. I have to have the perfect dress, the perfect makeup, the perfect hair. I have to show him my best self. Maybe then it’s possible to make him believe that I’m beautiful.
I don’t have much in the way of fancy clothes. I’ve had dinner with the friends I’ve made on the island a few times, but we never went anywhere particularly fancy. I know exactly where Ethan is taking me, the beautiful little Spanish restaurant down by the beach, known for its incredible local food. Only the richest people on the island ever go there, and I know that no matter what Ethan feels for me, he intends to take me there to impress me. It’s the kind of man he is, and I can’t say I mind. Then again, I’d dine with him anywhere. I just can’t wait to spend an entire evening in his presence.
But I can’t possibly go unless I have the perfect outfit. I don’t want him to think I’m not making an effort. I have to show him that even this body that I’ve never felt comfortable in can be a thing of beauty too. But would he rather I try to hide my curves away or show them off in all their glory?
I glance at myself in the mirror once again. I see my meek expression staring back at me. I’ve never really felt good about myself, but this is the body I was given. I can’t change it. If I want him to love me as I am, then I can’t shy away from who I am. Who knows? Maybe he’ll find it attractive.
Which means a dress that clings to every single one of my curves. No shape wear, no sucking in my stomach all night to make myself look thinner. No, I need to be myself. I need to realize that my body can be an object of desire.
And there’s only one dress that can make me look close to perfect.
I take it out of my wardrobe and put it on. I don’t know why I brought it with me on this trip, knowing I wouldn’t be going anywhere, but now, I’m glad I did. I stare at myself in the mirror and feel elation moving through me.
The black, sequin dress is tight. It has floaty mesh sleeves that hide the arms that I’m so self-conscious about, but also makes me look more elegant than I ever have before. I smooth down the dress, running my hands over my stomach. I don’t feel unattractive when I’m wearing this. I know that if I curl my hair, throw on some makeup, and smile, I’ll look the best I ever have. And maybe that’ll be enough to make Ethan see me the way I want him to.
I hug my arms around myself. It’s time to stop feeling so self-conscious. It’s time to believe that I’m worthy of something. I imagine walking into the restaurant on Ethan’s arm and heads turning to look at us. Maybe people will wonder what a man like him is doing with a woman like me, but I’ll know we’re a perfect match. There’s a reason I’ve been fantasizing about him for so many years. Something just tells me that we are meant to be together. Maybe now, I can make that hunch into a reality.