“Don’t what?”
“Cheapen what happened by taking it back.” She’d given him the world, showing up like this. Having her deny him once more would be a harsh blow to his already battered psyche.
She smoothed back her hair with her hand and remained silent.
Monster snatched up the small victory like a greedy child and held it close to his chest. “Why don’t you take a seat while I shower and change?”
She gestured toward the door. “Chase is waiting. I should join her.”
“Chase is under protection. You don’t go wandering the club alone, you understand? Misunderstandings happen fast and I’d hate to have to crush a motherfucker’s skull over it.”
Her jaw dropped.
“You feel me?” he asked.
“Y-yeah, I feel you.”
“Good. The remote to the television is in the nightstand.” He walked to his closet, grabbed a change of clothes and continued into the bathroom with more confidence than he felt. The authority she responded to was an act. She made him grasp at straws and struggle to remember the dominant alpha male he’d once been. The pain, scars, self-loathing, stares, and unveiled disgust from women had put a stranglehold on the confident, cocky teenager he’d once been. Every time he fought to form a connection between him and Symone, he battled his instincts. Being invisible had become something he was damn good at. For Symone, he’d make himself seen and heard. There was no happiness in this life without pain and sacrifice. A lesson he’d learned over the years. It was a matter of what meant more. She was the light at the end of a dark tunnel. He wouldn’t give her up without one hell of a fight.
Clean and freshly clothed, he re-entered the room.
Symone sat perched on the edge of the bed.
A smile pulled the corners of his lips upward. “Something good on?”
She jumped. “Oh, I guess. The TV is watching me more than I’m watching it.”
He snickered. “You ready to go out and mingle?”
“Whatever you want to do.” She placed her hands in her lap and bowed her head.
He watched her retreat into her shell. “Fuck that, babe. It’s about what you want.” He stalked over to the bed and kneeled down. “You don’t have to do anything to please me. Here, you do what you want.”
She shifted her weight on the bed.
He gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. “Who did this to you?”
“It took a lot of someone’s, Monster. I wanted to wait to tell you, because it’s going to kill me to watch the light drain from your eyes when you learn the truth.”
/> “What are you talking about?”
“I was a whore for hire. From the time I was sixteen, I worked in the most exclusive chattel in my neighborhood. It’s all I’ve ever known, and for the most part, I liked it. I played a role, provided a service and in exchange, I was well taken care of. Then one of the girls left and I started to want more. Gia and I, we—we plotted, planned, and waited for our chance to escape. When it came, we took it. She got away and I didn’t. Our madam, Mylandra, never let me forget that.” She touched her face. “These were a permanent reminder of my greatest failing. I’ve prayed many times over for death since that day, but it never came. We come here and I see Gia thriving, happy, and so fucking beautiful it makes my heart break. I love her and hate her at the same time. It fucks with my head daily. This is the first time I’ve ever been on my own. I don’t know what I’m doing. W-Who I am, or how I should feel. So, you can understand why I don’t think I can be the woman you need.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You already are.”
“You don’t even know me,” she hissed.
“I know enough. Your story makes me want you more. You’re a survivor like me. You know what pain and loss are. I’m a broken man, but for you, I’ll try. See, I have a bad track record. People who depend on me get hurt. The way I look is my reminder of how much I failed my mother, my father, and my brother. I got him out that night and I let my mother burn. I knew this was my punishment, and I accepted that and all that came with it…until you.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat, relieved to voice the words out loud for the first time. The Dueling Devils didn’t exactly do the shrink thing.
Symone gasped. “How old were you?”
“Thirteen,” he whispered.
“Then you have to know none of that was your fault.”
Her eyes blazed with an emotion he couldn’t get a handle on. She cupped his face between her hands and he soaked up her gentleness. “Did you start the fire?”
“No.”