“Scarlett, I have to be honest with you,” Kacy, my favorite nurse who took care of Aurora, whispered. “That is a pretty darn sexy sight right there.”
Laughing softly, I nodded. “It is. How long has he been holding her?”
“Not very long. He helped change her diaper and was asking about a bath for her. I wanted to wait until our next scheduled time frame to do the bath so you could be here. It always amazes me when most dads dive right in with the care of their little ones.”
I faced her. “Most dads? Not all dads?”
She frowned. “Unfortunately, no. Even some moms are hesitant but that is very rare. Some of the fathers are in denial and won’t even come and see the baby. Others, well, they come in to hold the baby during a lunch break and leave. I’d have to say a majority, though, are in tune with their kids and will do anything to help with their care.”
“Wow, I mean, when I leave here, I get such an overwhelming sense of grief. The guilt of not being here if she needs me is a struggle and I’m hoping it will get better as the days go on. I trust y’all with her, please don’t get me wrong. I just hate leaving her.”
She placed her hand on my arm. “Trust me, I understand and you’re not the only parent to feel that way. Here, I have something to give you. We were out of the caterpillar, and it’s my favorite one to give to new preemies. Be right back.”
Trevor opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Good, I walked over here and, it felt good to move around.”
His eyes roamed my body with lust. I glanced down at what I was wearing. Yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt that said Frio River Ranch.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered.
I tilted my head and gave him a scowl.
“Don’t look at me like that. You do, Scarlett.”
“I haven’t had a decent shower or washed my hair in days, and I don’t have a stitch of make-up on. Plus, I look like a homeless person with leaky boobs.”
Trevor kissed Aurora’s head. “Like I said, you look beautiful. Doesn’t she, princess? Mommy always looks beautiful, even dressed like a homeless person and especially with her leaky boobs.”
Tingles swept across my body and I had the urge to walk over and kiss him. So I did. Then I kissed our daughter.
“Hello, sweet Aurora Belle. How is my baby girl this evening?”
Aurora moved, and I knew it was because she heard me. My heart melted at the sight, and it also broke in two. It killed me to see our daughter like this, but there were other babies in here in far worse condition, so I counted my blessings that our daughter was improving each day. I knew things could change, so I wasn’t going to be picky with her progress.
“Mom won’t stop calling me. She wants more pictures.”
I giggled. “Who wouldn’t want to see pictures of this beautiful little girl? My folks left before I came down. I signed all the discharge papers, so Daddy is bringing our stuff to the condo.”
“Damn. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Scarlett.”
“No, I’d rather you were here. Like I said, my folks were there, and they’ll be at the house to help with things the first few days.”
Trevor nodded, but I still saw the guilt in his eyes.
“Oh, good. You’re up, Dad.”
Slowly standing up from my bent-over position, I watched as Kacy held out a silver bracelet to me.
“What’s this?” I asked as I took it from her. It looked like one of those bracelets you use for Pandora charms.
“This is called NICU Journey Beads. A NICU nurse came up with this as a way to celebrate milestones in the NICU. You start with the caterpillar bead and when you leave you’ll get the butterfly bead. I also want to give you this one, the giraffe. It’s the keeping baby warm in the incubator bead. Then we have this one!”
She threaded another bead onto the silver bracelet. “This is the Kangaroo for, of course, the importance of skin to skin. And this one is for you, Dad! The first diaper change. For each milestone Aurora has, we’ll add another bead. She’ll get to wear it as a necklace when she leaves the NICU for home.”
My heart was overjoyed as I looked at the four beads on the bracelet. “We’re at four already!” I softly said with excitement. One of the rules in the NICU was that loud noises were a no-no. Everything was kept at a controlled level because most of the little ones were still developing their hearing.
“Do we get one for a bath?” Trevor asked, a huge smile on his face.
I giggled. Who would have thought we would be so excited over beads? But each of these beads represented something monumental in our minds.