“We might’ve missed one another completely. Never doubt that you are my light in the darkness, Louella. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and that will come across in fucked up ways at times. Just know I always have your best interest at heart.” He cups my face and runs his thumb over the apple of my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
“One day you and I are going to share the same name.”
I groan. “Can we get through the insanity of this year first?” I rest my head on his chest as he laughs.
“Of course, reina.”
We continue to walk, and I bask in the deeper level of understanding we’ve managed. Sometimes things have to break down, to be built up stronger.
Chapter Eighteen
I hug my knees to my chest and shiver as the heated water slowly fills the porcelain tub drug out into my garden. Today is all about preparation to receive the mantle of the matriarch. Tomorrow will be more than a title exchange. I’ll be channeling a large quantity of power, mingling it with my own, and being judged by my ancestors. If they were to find me severely lacking, they could stop the ceremony. It’s extremely rare, but not unheard of. I’m worried about what they’ll see when they peer into my soul.
“You better start thinking happier thoughts, or you’re going to freeze out here while we try to cleanse you of negativity,” Fel says.
I wrinkle my nose. “Why do so many ritual preparations have to be performed nude?”
“Because modern day people are prudes,” Mémé replies.
Ruby chokes out a laugh. “Oh, I like her.”
“Everyone laugh it up.” Luz pours in heated water, and I smile my thanks. Everything has to be done by hand for this. We have a large fire pit built, and multiple cauldrons are going. Sage, chamomile, rosemary, lavender, lemon balm, and plenty of sea salt float around. Modern items won’t play a part in preparations until the celebration.
“I feel like we’re trying to make a Louella tea,” I mumble.
“It’d be very floral,” Sacha speaks dryly.
I snicker. “Are you trying to say I shouldn’t be a floral and sweet flavored tea?”
“You have your bitter moments,” Mom adds.
I bat my lashes. “Why thank you, Mother. I knew I was a delight to raise.”
Mémé laughs. “It’s good you have so many women here to support you. It means you’re loyal and loved. I couldn’t think of a better way to go into this. You’ll need them to keep you on the right path. This is your circle of trust. None could have entered the garden today if they had any ill intent toward you.”
Just when I think I know everything, Mémé drops some more gangster-style shit that blows my mind.
As the water warms up, my muscles relax, and I forget about everything else. My body tingles and my aura drinks up the healing magic, herbs, and vibrations from the quartz at the bottle of the tub. It’s been a long year full of ups and down, enemies and growth. People think growing pains stop when you leave puberty. I know better. There are scars on my heart from misunderstandings, words spoken in anger, and the awareness that the person I was is undergoing another conversion and I have no clue who will emerge. Letting go of preconceived notions of how things should be, saved me plenty of anxiety, and cleared the blockage I had when trying to bond with the court.
Much like a wedding, the people you trust most are the ones to attend you before the ceremony. It’s supposed to be for witches only, but I have a workaround; Ruby, Ada, and Luz have a magic all their own. Therefore, technically they could not be banned from the process. I’ve learned a lot about rules, laws, and how to bend them from the court, much to the council’s chagrin.
“This is to cleanse her aura you said?” Luz asks Mémé.
“Yes, we want to prepare her for tomorrow. When you become matriarch, it’s a physically and mentally draining process. She’ll receive power, memories, and if she’s really lucky blessing. It’s a lot for one person to handle.”
“Yeah, I could see how that would be true,” Luz says.
I smile reassuringly. She has a tough exterior, but when it comes to those she cares about her heart is tender.
Bundles of sage burn on the fire, giving off their distinct scent. Concentrating on letting the worries and negative thoughts go, I close my eyes as my skin tingles. The sun rays kiss my skin, and the herbs do their job, calming and cleansing. My energy is restored, the clutter is removed from my headspace like unwelcome cobwebs, and I begin to feel an intense connection with the world beyond our own.
“It’s already beginning.” I feel like I’ve been connected to a battery. Everything is amped. My heart knocks against my chest as my powers surge. Mémé leads a chant. I slip deeper into the water.
I submerge myself, using the salt and handmade lavender soap to symbolically scrub away the impurities and prepare myself for what I will soon receive. Flashes of memories explode in my brain like memories set on fast-forward. I twitch, sloshing the water.
“It’s happening fast,” Mémé whispers.