His eyes flash amber. I ignore him as he sets me down. Nothing but grit, stubbornness, and the lingering strength from our bond keep me on my feet. I’m born from queens. I won’t crack under pressure, or show how much I hurt. I thought I was doing a good job of holding him at a distance and remaining in control. It was nothing more than a prettily packaged lie. I rest my forehead against the cool glass of the window and let the velvet blackness suck me down into unconsciousness as the rhythm of wheels on the road and exhaustion work in tandem, overcoming me.
***
A light knock at the door pulls me from my slumber. I’ve been cocooned in a nest of blankets since we returned, sleeping off and on.
I moisten my mouth. “Yes?”
“You okay?” Luz’s voice drifts in through the door.
I smile at her concern. “Yeah, come in. This was nothing rest couldn’t repair.”
She arcs an eyebrow and steps inside. “Silencing spell?”
“Already placed. What’s going on?” I ask.
She crosses her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t talking about physically. I know you well enough to tell when you’re hurting. What Etta did was a low blow.”
“That’s her forte, though, isn’t it?”
“Make room.” Luz strides over in leather breeches and a white tank top only she could pull off as everyday clothing. I shift to the center of the bed, and she climbs in beside me. “When you left it devastated him. He didn’t show it like normal people. But it was there for those of us who knew how to look. There was a monstrous feel about him I hadn’t seen in ages. He thrives on control, aloofness, and manners. It helps keep him balanced. It’s a lesson he learned the hard way. Me too. Hard headed and hot-blooded temperament runs in our family.” She grins.
“I’ve noticed.”
“That time as full of dark days. He fell back into old habits. Etta was one of them.”
“This is the shittiest pep talk in the world.”
She nudges my side with her elbow. “Shut up. I’m getting there.
“When he climbed out of that dark place, he regretted it. He came back to himself, and it was like a man possessed. He built this place up brick by brick and climbed every rung of the ladder with a single-minded determination that bordered on obsession. I think he wanted to be the type of man who deserved you.”
“Oh, please.” The man was centuries old. The approval of one young, stupid human girl wasn’t driving him to change.
“I’m serious, Lou. Whatever went down between the two of you screwed with his head. He worked harder at understanding humans. Not just playing at being one, remembering how they ticked, thought, and felt. In a roundabout way, I think you’re the reason he is where he is. What’s the saying? Behind every great man is a great woman. Only he wants you at his side, equal, protected, and cherished.”
“Are you his spokesman, chaton?”
She scowls. “Don’t you know you have what everyone dreams of. A bond mate! The one person on the planet meant for only you. It’s not something you throw away over petty issues.”
“They aren’t—”
“Think beyond human terms. You’re going to have an extended life, Lou. Do a few years of strife and disagreement really make that much of a difference?”
I open my mouth and close it. In fifty years’ time, when everyone else I know has aged normally, and I’m still as I am today, what would life look like?
“I know it’s hard to except, but you’re different now. You have to learn how to walk a line in the middle. The way he did for you.”
Mind blown, I lean back against the headboard.
“Never thought of it that way, huh?” she asks.
I shake my head.
“We all know what it is to transition into a new and foreign creature, Lou. Let us help you. Let him help you navigate through this, the way he did for each of us. He’s good at it.”
“Well, shit,” I whisper.
“Mic drop?”