“Yeah? How’s that shadowing job going?”
“Real good. I’m actually helping train a few new people now. I had something I wanted to talk to you about, though.”
He strokes his chin. “Should I be worried?”
“Naw, it’s small. Remember the woman I was telling you about? Xia?”
“The boss’s daughter?” He narrows his gaze.
“Yeah her. Well, shit’s gotten a lot more serious, and I need permission to tell her about K.O.C.”
“You thinking about making her an Old Lady or something?”
“Maybe. I want the option, and I can’t do that while she remains in the dark.”
He smirks. “Told you it came on fast. You think she can hold water? ’Cause you need to be sure she’s not going to jeopardize anything we’ve got going on.”
“She’s trustworthy. That’s not what I’m unsure of.”
“Run it by me then.”
“She doesn’t know about my past yet.”
“Why do you have to tell her at all? None of us are saints. If she can handle the M.C. issue, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I might agree with that, except she’s black.”
His eyes bulge. “Damn.”
“Yeah.” I rub the back of my neck sheepishly.
His gaze narrows. “How long have you two been together?”
“’Bout six months now?”
He whistles. “Long time to keep something like this under wraps. You got a hole six feet deep to pull yourself out of.”
I bow my head. “I know.”
“Make sure she’s worth it.”
“Her being worth it isn’t the problem.”
“How long are you going to crucify yourself for mistakes? If you don’t move past them, your father wins. He’s controlling you from beyond the grave. I’ve noticed the changes. You’re withdrawn and despondent. Do I need to be worrying about you? You get too soft, you get distracted and maybe even start thinking the grass might be greener on the other side.”
Unsure what to say, I remain silent.
“We’ve all been there. You can love the life, but not be in love with everything that comes with it. If this is for you, it’ll pass. If it continues, you need to figure out your next move. Why do you think I sent you down here for this?”
“Because I volunteered and I’m good with people?” I ask tentatively.
“Partially. You also needed a change of pace, some fresh air, and time away from us to get your priorities in order. What I want to know is, if you’ve done that.”
“I’m still working on it,” I say honestly.
“When you come back I want you committed with your head in the game. You can’t be half in and half out.”
“I understand.”