“It wasn’t his place to do that.”
“You take it up with him if you like, but I don’t think he can undo it since he’s announced it to everyone and the hospital understands I’m your fiancée, point of contact, and interpreter of all medical jargon for the club.”
“Bitch.”
“Your bitch. You taught me how to be strong, take care of my shit, and go for what I want. I’m the monster you made me, baby. We’re two halves of the same coin, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fuck you, Blanche.” The words explode from me before I can think to bite my tongue.
“Oh, you will. I’ll make sure of that.” She moves to the side of my bed and narrows her eyes. “There are so many ways to arouse, tease, and torment.” She skims her nails down my arm.
I shiver.
“I know you’re hurting. I’m not making light of that in any way, but I’m not letting you give up. You have to believe you can have a good life, or you won’t make it, and that—” her voice distorts, and she shakes her head, “that I can’t have.”
“Don’t I get a say in how I live, B? I don’t want to live if this is my life. I can’t ride.”
She presses her pointer finger across my lips. “You don’t know what you can or can’t do. All I ask is a year. One year and we’ll reevaluate everything. If you still want me to leave then. I won’t fight you.”
I look away. “You know it’ll take at least that long to know how this injury is going to play out. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“What do you think I see?”
“A soft, weak, useless half man.”
“I see the same thing I always see, the love of my life.”
I turn to her and search her gaze. She means every word. “I can’t promise to be nice, B. I got a lot of anger right now.”
“At me?” Her head drops. “I know this is my fault.”
“Hey!” I bark and grab her chin. “No. I’d do this all over again if it meant you remained safe. That’s my job.”
“So why isn’t helping you recover mine?”
I open and close my mouth. She’s got me there.
“It’s literally my job, J. But you have to let me be there. I can take what you dish out.”
“What if I can’t?” I ask quietly.
“Can’t what?”
“Ever walk again?”
“First rule. We’re taking things one day at a time.”
“One day at a time. I can do that.” I say as the ball in my gut slowly lessens.
“Good. ‘Cause that’s the way life happens.”
“Dude…are you head shrinking me?” I ask thinking of the way I’d fed her the same lines during a panic attack.
“Am I using the coping skills given to me by Dr. Adams? Yes, I am.”
“You’re something; you know that?”
A knock comes at the door. “Are you all finished with breakfast, Mr. Ryan?” The tall brunette with brown eyes walks in and smiles. “I see you have a visitor.”