“And if it pisses him off? I feel like I’m walking through a mine field.”
“You’ve never been the type to let a man run you, don’t change now.”
“I feel like I owe him. It’s screwing with my mental.”
“Don’t let it. You owe him respect and obedience when its safety related. Everything else is up for the two of you to decide. Do you think I’d be with Shadow if I had to obey him blindly?” She cocks her head and places her hand on her hips.
“That man worships the ground you walk on. It’s different.”
“Because we make it that way. You’ll see all kinds of arrangements in our life. That’s the beauty of it. The freedom to choose how you want to live without censor. We accept our own as they are.”
I nibble my lip. “Does everyone know about my dad?”
“I’m sure they do by now. Shadow hasn’t said anything to me personally. But I’d guess they let everyone know and are keeping a look out.”
“Well then, they can let me know if they find something because I haven’t seen that asshole in three years since Rochelle’s wedding.”
“You really don’t talk at all?” Blue asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing to say. He’s never taken an interest in us. I think he only had us to appease Mom. I wonder about her back then. She presents this buttoned up persona. But there’s no way she was like that and caught Dad’s attention.”
“Have you asked her?”
“No, we don’t’ get deep. My mom does judgment, approval, and bitching. I think after everything with my dad, she just formed a wall and refused to let anyone in, unless they come to her on the terms she has set.”
“That’s pretty fucked up, Ruthie. She can’t punish you for what he’s done.”
“You’ve seen how it works between us over the years.”
“Yeah, but I have my own Mommy issues. I figured it was because you were so different from her and Rochelle. She’s always been more of a people pleaser.”
“It’s true. I was glad when she went to college a few hours away. It got her out from underneath Mom’s thumb.”
“Why are you so different?”
“I’m not sure. I think because I saw how my father completely screwed over my mother, and the way it affected her and us. My sister was young. She was six when my mom separated and seven when we left Los Angeles. She either blocks it out, or was too young to remember. Everyone deals differently.” I shrug. It took too much energy to remain angry over the way things went. I was more interested in never repeating history. If a man tried to run me in any way, I was out of there. Ironic, given the position I find myself in now. The thought re-ignites a spark. He’d taken the piss out of me a week ago. I’m ready to fight back now.
“You know, for a minute there, I forgot who the fuck I was. Let’s go do this!” I exclaim.
“There’s my girl,” Blue crows, issuing a nod of approval. “Let’s give you the Old Lady makeover.”
***
I feel like a sixteen-year-old waiting on her prom date. I barley recognize myself in the mirror. My dark red hair has been tamed and slicked back into a high ponytail. My boobs are all but popping out of the tight black, Kings of Chaos, tank top gifted to me by Blue. The tiny black leather skirt and black heeled boots completes the outfit. I’m showing plenty of skin, but covering the essentials. My makeup is darker tonight with smoky eyes, cat eyeliner, and mascara for days. I coated my lips in the nude s’mores lip-gloss I know Skull loves.
The sounds of bikes in the distance makes my stomach drop into my shoes.
“The boys are here,” Blue says in a sing song voice.
“I love you, but right now your deep case of love with your husband makes me want to punch you.”
Blue laughs. “Don’t let the nerves get to you. You look amazing. He’s going to swallow his tongue.”
Or just jump down my throat.
She stares hard at me. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”
“I didn’t say anything.”