“Woman, do you know what time it is?” Ruthie rasps.
“I need you.”
“What’s wrong?” she asks sounding more awake.
“I fucked up so bad last night, Ruthie.” My voice quavers. My throat swells, and I choke on the lump forming in my throat.
“Calm down, babe. It can’t be that bad. What happened? Something at Shadow’s welcome home party?”
I snort. “Yeah, you could say that. I’m in his bathroom right now. I slept with him.”
“Hallelujah, it’s about time!”
“No, this is bad, so bad, You don’t understand. What the hell is this going to do to Bolton? And I don’t know how many people saw us sneak into his room. Jesus, I acted like some slutty King chaser.”
“Hey!” she barks. “You could never be like them. No one’s going to think anything. Let alone say something. I know Shadow gives you the warm and fuzzies, but he’s damn scary, and so is your father.”
I laugh. “Not to these guys.”
“If they upset you, I’m sure they would feel some fear,” Ruthie says. “What do you need me to do, babe?”
“Come and get me.”
Ruthie sighs. “You still running?”
“Please don’t lecture me right now, Ruthie. I’ll ask one of the brothers to do it if that’s what you want to do.”
“No, don’t do that, Blue. Give me ten to get dressed and to the car and I’m on my way.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, resting my head against the cold wall.
“I love you, Bluebell, but I won’t lie to you. I’ll keep my mouth shut now, because it’s what you need, but this isn’t over. And knowing Shadow, I won’t be the only one who thinks so.”
“I’ll deal with it later.”
“Hmmph. I’m going to get dressed now.”
She disconnects and I straighten to peer into the mirror. What kind of woman sleeps with her sister’s ex, the father of her child? He said it was always supposed to be me. But does that matter? It’s not what the rest of the world will see. It’s a small town, and people have long memories. It’s like we lost out on all the glitz and glamour from L.A, and missed the laid back carefree vibe of San Diego, the bigger city we bordered. A dark mark on my neck stood out like a scarlet letter. I lean over the sink and stare at the shell-shocked woman in front of me. Get it together. You’ve got a child depending on you. The last thing he needs is another significant change. Shadow had fun last night, but he may have been thinking more with the head in his pants.
“That’s right, baby. I’m the only who gets to touch you like this.” I ignore the butterflies his words from last night cause and hurry out of the room, slowly closing the door behind me. It’s just past sunrise, and the clubhouse is a ghost town. Dark and silent, it offers me an anonymity I’m grateful for. Bodies lay on couches, pool tables, and floors in various states of dress. I tiptoe over the prone figures until I reach the door. Once I step outside I lean against the wall. Shadow is everything I ever wanted, but I can’t justify having him. Closing my eyes, I remember the feel of his calloused fingers running over my flesh.
“How you’ll sound, what your scent will smell like mingled with mine. I’ve already had you a million different ways in my mind.”
I shudder. I could orgasm from the memory alone. His husky voice whispering in my ear, telling me I’m his. It’s all I ever wanted. So why am I running? Because it’s what best. My temples throb as the internal war rages on.
The sight of the familiar silver sedan pulling up to the gates fills me with relief. I stride toward the gate waving at the prospect. “She’s here for me.”
“Okay, Ms. Blue.”
I roll my eyes. Poor bastards were so afraid of pissing someone off, they ended up being crazy formal. “Just Blue, Ralphie.”
He gives me a tiny smile, and his gray eyes light up. “Okay, Blue.”
“You don’t have to let her in. I’ll go out.”
He pulls the gate back, and I slip out. I open the passenger door, ease my achy body into the seat, and sigh. I made it. “Please drive.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice. I don’t want him to come out here and see me helping you with the getaway.”