Rolling his eyes, Cord went into full-on pout mode. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You too?”
“Cord, I’m about to announce that I’m running for mayor, and you want me to get freaky with a bunch of strippers? Hell, no. It’s not happening.”
“Buzz kills. All of you.”
“Why don’t we just do something out at the ranch?” I asked. “A combined party for both me and Waylynn. Invite some friends, have some drinks, and just chill.”
Cord stared like I’d lost my damn mind. “Where in the hell did my best friend go? All I see is a damn seventy-year-old man standing here. Should we play bingo? Maybe set up a shuffleboard court on the back forty? Should I start calling you Al?”
“Dude, I actually won a hundred bucks at bingo the other night,” Mitchell announced.
Stumbling and clutching his chest, Cord gasped. “Da fuck did you just say? You went to bingo? With whom?”
“Paxton, Amelia, Corina, and Wade. It was fun. Steed was pissed he couldn’t make it, but Mom and Dad couldn’t watch the kids.”
Cord spun around and went behind the bar. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured a few shots. “Drink that.”
Mitchell drew his head back in question. “Why?”
“So I know you’ve not turned into a pussy. Hopefully that shit is strong enough to make your balls drop back into place.” Then he pointed to me.
“You, Handy Smurf, if you tell me you’ve been to bingo I will take your damn Man Card and make Dustin my new best friend.”
Facing Tripp, I asked, “Did he just call me Handy Smurf?”
He laughed and nodded his head.
“Why the hell did you call me Handy Smurf?”
“How come I can’t be Handy Smurf? Why does Jonathon get to be him?” Mitchell asked.
“You’re Tracker Smurf. The whole cop thing,” Tripp stated.
“Yes!” Mitchell said, pointing to Tripp. “That makes sense. Dude, you’re Brainy Smurf, all the way.”
“Hell yeah, I am. Wait…was there a Mayor Smurf?”
“Papa Smurf, but that’s Dad for sure.”
My gaze bounced between all three of them. Cord seemed stunned as Mitchell and Tripp got excited about their Smurf names. I had seriously just fallen into the Twilight Zone.
Shaking my head, I headed to the door, but not before grabbing my jacket, hat, and gloves. I glanced back over my shoulder to find Cord drinking out of the whiskey bottle while Tripp and Mitchell argued about which Smurf Cord might be.
I jammed my hat on my head, mumbling, “What in the hell kind of family am I marrying into?”
* * *
“How do I look?”
Lifting my gaze from the paperwork I was doing at the kitchen bar, I nearly fell off the stool. Waylynn stood before me in a long skirt, cowboy boots, and a baby-blue shirt that showed a little more cleavage than I usually liked. But damn, did she look hot as hell.
“Holy shit. You look amazing.”
Waylynn grinned and lifted the sides of her skirt. “I know how you like easy access.”
I wiggled my brows. “That I do. I’m sure we can sneak off for a little one on one later.”
Her teeth sank into her lip. “I would like that.”
I placed my hands on her hips and drew her to me. “How are you feeling?”
“Better. I think the meds are starting to work. Hopefully I won’t have any issues.”
“Do you like the patch better?”
She nodded. “I like it a lot. It seems to be keeping my hormones in balance now so no chance of me going bat ass crazy on you.”
I kissed the tip of her nose. “Thank God.”
Hitting me on the chest, Waylynn wrapped her arms around my neck. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yep. Are you?”
“I have never been more sure. My poor mother. She’s probably wondering where she went wrong with her children and why one of them can’t just have a normal wedding.”
“Well, there are still three left.”
“Ha! I think her only hope is Tripp. He’ll have a huge wedding just because he’ll probably be mayor when he gets married.”
I chuckled. “Probably. Hey, have you met Meabh yet?”
“May?”
“Maebh. It’s like May with a V sound on the end.”
“Who is that?”
“She’s opening the new restaurant a few doors down from Cord. She contacted me about remodeling the place. I guess her contractor hasn’t been by in over two months.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I feel bad for her. The asshole totally ripped her off. She was in Tripp’s office earlier today to see if he would take the case. She’s not sure about her legal rights. She’s only been in America for a year. Her mother was from Leaky, Texas. She and her father came over from Ireland to bury her in her hometown, and Maebh loved it here. Said she felt closer to her mother.”
“Wow. She’s from Ireland, so how can she be opening up a place? Aren’t there rules or something for that?”