I rubbed the back of my hand across my snotty nose. “Wh-what about kids?”
He gave me the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. “We can still have kids. Maybe not the way we thought, but we can have as many kids are you want. I’ll make it happen.”
Crawling out from the covers, I threw myself into his body as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I love you so much. So very much.”
Burying his face into me, he replied, “And I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”
Drawing back, we gazed into each other’s eyes. Jonathon lifted his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “No more crying, okay? We’re going to talk about this any time you feel like you need to, right?”
I nodded. “I promise you. I’m so sorry I pushed you away when I should have relied on your love to get us through this.”
Tilting my chin up, he kissed me gently on the lips. I knew he didn’t blame me, and I loved him for not giving up on us.
When he broke the kiss, I instantly realized how much I had missed him these last few weeks.
“Please, tell me Trevor is gone.”
He laughed. “Yes, I was his relief. I had to bring Hope back to school after we had lunch together. Trevor called to let me know what happened and that he was at the house waiting for me to get here.”
“I sort of broke down.”
“Sometimes we need to let the hurt bring us to our knees before we can start healing.”
Staring into his eyes, I took a shaky breath. “I’m still hurting, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever stop.”
Jonathon brushed a piece of hair from my face. “There is nothing wrong with admitting that. But when the pain gets to be too much, I’m here for you.”
“The same goes for me. I know I’m not the only one who lost something, and I haven’t been here for you at all. I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head. “You’re incredible, do you know that?”
“Yes.”
Laughing, he cupped my face with his hands. “May I please make love to you?”
My lips pressed together to keep my emotions in check. Once I felt like I could talk and not cry, I responded.
“I was wondering when you would ask.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed together. Jonathon was so tender. When he kissed my scar, I cried again, but my tears soon dried as he slowly made love to me. Whispering in my ear how much he loved me. Loved my body. It was in that moment I knew whatever God had in store for me, I was ready. All my well laid-out plans over the years, He had to prove again and again to me that I wasn’t actually the one in control…He was. And whatever plans He had for us, I was ready to face them, good and bad. Not only because this experience made me stronger, but because I had Jonathon Turner by my side and together we would be able to face anything.
Chapter Thirty-One
Jonathon
“Holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever remembered it being so cold.”
I glanced up to see Mitchell wrapped in a winter coat and scarf, walking through the door.
Cord laughed. “Dude, you look like a pussy with that scarf wrapped around your face. It’s February. It’s supposed to be cold.”
“Fuck you, Cord. I’m warm, and that’s all that matters.”
Tripp walked up to his brother and laughed. “You look like you just came down off a mountain.” He pulled the knitted hat off Mitchell’s head.
“You know what, you two work inside. I don’t! I’ve been out chasing down a damn fucking rogue cow who refused to leave the damn pasture.”
“A rogue cow?” I asked, trying not to laugh.
Mitchell pointed to me. “You keep your mouth shut.”
I lifted my hands. “Hey, I get staying warm. They did the same thing to me when I walked in.”
Cord laughed. “Jonathon here is wearing some fancy leggings.”
I groaned. “They are not leggings! They’re long underwear.”
“They look like something a girl would wear to yoga class.”
Tripp jumped into the conversation. “Hey, wait. I’ve been going to yoga with Mallory, and it’s not all that bad.”
“How are things going with you and Mallory?” Cord asked.
With a smile, Tripp replied, “Pretty good. We hang out every now and then. Nothing serious, but I do like her. The sex is hot as hell.”
“Have you talked to Harley?” Mitchell asked. “I saw Doc Harris, and he said she was supposed to take over mid-January, but her move from Dallas got delayed and she only started a couple weeks ago.”
Tripp shrugged. “Yeah, I guess she’s moved back for good.”
“Alone?” Cord asked.
“From what I hear,” Tripp answered. “Karen has been trying to get all the gossip from Harley’s folks, and I have to keep telling her to mind her own business.”