“Okay.” I don’t give her time to reply as I hurry off toward the bathroom. I always make it my business to know where the restrooms are. Keeping my head down, I use my size to move through the people, feeling like a salmon trying to swim upstream. I burst into the bathroom and find an empty stall. Locking myself in, I close my eyes and let myself rock back and forth. The noise level rises with people coming in and out. I snap my fingers, adding the auditory sensory I find most comforting. The motion and the sound force everything else into the background, bringing me blessed relief. The further the flight is pushed back, the more my plans are thrown off. I don’t like it when that happens.
Plans help me keep things straight and organized. It allows me time to decompress and take breaks, so I don’t get overloaded. Sinking down into the rhythmic motion and sound, I come down little by little. Recharged, I take a few deep breaths and leave the stall. After washing and drying my hands, I step back out into the airport and retrace my steps. Returning, I discover people have wandered away from the gate. My chest loosens. The woman has remained beside my things, watching them.
I clear my throat. She looks up and smiles.
“Thank you,” I mumble and sit beside her.
“You’re welcome. I was just sitting here anyway.” She stares at me.
“What?”
“Everything okay?”
“No.”
“I—” She opens her mouth and closes it. “Okay.”
Taking out my phone, I call my mom.
“Hey, Sammy.”
“Hi, Mom. I don’t think I’m going to make it to dinner.”
“What?” She sighs. “Sammy, we worked really hard for this moment. I think you’re ready. It’s okay to be nervous.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. This would be the first holiday dinner I’d had with the family in years—Mom, Dad, aunt, uncle, and cousins. I worked my way up to this instead of the three-person Christmas with my parents.
“I am. This is weather related. Currently, the flight has been postponed by three hours. With the weather, I think it’ll be canceled.”
“Oh, honey. We were all looking forward to this. How are you handling it?”
“I ... don’t know.”
“Okay, so let’s come up with a plan. If the flight is canceled, what will you do?”
“I have my computer and my headphones. I’ll watch episodes of Star Trek with my noise-canceling on. I’ll try to sleep if I can when I get tired.”
“I think that’s a great plan, Sammy. You can call me any time you need.” Her words put warmth in my chest. She’s always tried hard to do right by me. I know I wasn’t an easy child to raise or an adult son to have.
“I know.” I bounce my right leg and rock slightly. Things are still too chaotic for my liking.
“Right now, I want you to get something to eat. If the snow is as bad as you’re saying, the airline will let the workers leave early.”
“I’ll do that now.”
“Bye, Sammy. I love you.”
“Bye, Mom. Ditto.”
Packing my things, I put on my satchel and walk toward the food area. The majority of places have already closed down except for the golden arches. The line is long, and people are crammed too close for comfort. I take my place in line behind the woman who sits beside me. A brown-haired man with a thick, muscular neck, broad shoulders, and meaty hands moves to cup her shoulder. He steps closer, and she steps back immediately. The sight unsettles me. She jerks away, and he frowns.
“Looks like we could be here for a while, sweet thing. Why don’t you and I get to know one another better?”
“No, thank you.”
“It could get mighty cold.”
“The heat is more than adequate in the building.”