It had terrified him.
Antonio had known, if he ever touched her again, it would destroy everything he cared about. His company would be hurt by her loss, and he would certainly lose her. Their working relationship could perhaps survive a one-night stand, but not a full-blown affair. He never kept a mistress for long. And how many times had Hana told him that her biggest dream was to someday have a real home, commitment, marriage, children? All things he could never give, not to her or anyone.
So he’d done the impossible. He’d pretended their night together had been forgettable. That it had, in fact, already been forgotten by him.
He’d been the one lying all this time. Not Hana.
Staring out the window blankly as his chauffeur drove him through Tokyo, Antonio looked down and realized his phone was somehow in his hands. Without letting himself think, he dialed Hana’s number.
She didn’t answer.
He tried again.
Same result.
No wonder, he thought grimly. He’d fired her, hadn’t he? She was no longer obligated to pick up when he called.
“Find her,” he barked at his bodyguard.
Turning in the front seat, Garcia’s rough face lifted into a crooked smile. “Her best friend lives in Tokyo. If she’s not answering the phone, she’s probably with him.”
“Who is he?” he demanded in a strained voice.
“His name is Ren Tanaka. His family owns a hotel in Harajuku.”
A best friend? A man? Antonio didn’t know which surprised him more. But as his driver changed route through the crowded streets, he told himself he wasn’t jealous, just curious. Hana had been a virgin; of that, there could be no doubt. And it wasn’t like Antonio had any claim on her.
Except that she was expecting his baby.
A baby.
After everything Antonio had done to prevent fatherhood, he was going to have a child.
A lump rose to his throat as he looked out at the passing streets of Tokyo in the soft spring mist.
Hana would be better off raising the child without him, obviously. What did he know of fatherhood? He’d never had parents. Better to stick with the choices he’d made long ago—to focus on his company and his fortune. They were the only things that mattered.
He’d gotten a vasectomy for a reason. He didn’t have the capacity to commit to anyone for life. He wasn’t fit to be a husband or father. Hana wouldn’t be shocked by this. She knew him better than anyone. All he could offer was financial support. It shouldn’t be hard for him to convince her.
As long as he didn’t touch her. Damn it, he was only a man. If he touched her, he would take her. Not just for a one-night stand. His repressed desire for her had become a ferocious beast, which if unleashed, would be unstoppable. He’d keep her as his mistress until his body was utterly satiated, whether that took days, weeks, or even months. For Antonio, sex was a physical thing, like eating or sleeping. But Hana’s heart was warm, not frozen like his own. All those months in his bed might lure her into blindly loving him. Then, when their affair inevitably ended, her love would just as inevitably turn to hate.
And perhaps she’d teach the baby to hate him as well...
No. He could never touch Hana again.
“We’re here, señor.”
Getting out of car, Antonio remembered Hana’s satchel in the trunk and got it out. He felt new shame as he remembered how he’d fired her, sending her off without even her bag of clothes. As he lifted it to his shoulder, a crack of sunlight burst through the clouds. Harajuku was very different from the financial district, crowded, lively and colorful. He looked up at the seven-story hotel silhouetted against the soft gray sky. Garcia started to follow, until he gestured sharply for his bodyguard to stay. He wanted to talk to Hana alone.
The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, or the baby. But he was a selfish bastard, and that wasn’t going to change.
And Hana would be an amazing mother. The baby would never even miss having him as a father. After all, what did Antonio have to offer a child, beyond his fortune? There was no question of Antonio being more involved than that. He’d give Hana an enormous financial settlement. They’d be set for life.
Now all he had to do was convince her of that.
Walking through the sleekly modern Japanese-style lobby of the hotel, he stopped a passing employee.
“Sir?” the man responded politely.