‘If they asked you to return for a three-month stint, would you?’
He couldn’t explain why his heart was hammering so hard. And then her eyes flickered to his, just for an instant, and she pursed her lips. It was as though someone had dealt him a blow that had punched every bit of oxygen from his lungs.
‘They’ve already asked you, haven’t they?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you agreed?’
‘I told them I would consider it,’ she hedged.
‘But you intend to agree.’
It wasn’t a question and she didn’t answer it as though it had been one. But working out here had been a good move for her, both professionally and personally. She suited this life. She was good at it. She felt fulfilled by it. That much was obvious.
‘I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t come back.’ Her voice sounded odd, as though she was challenging him. ‘Do you?’
And all at once he wanted to grab her and tell her that there was a reason. That he wanted her in his life. That when they got home maybe they could start again, perhaps see if they could have a future together.
But then he looked into those laurel-green depths and saw everything that she loved was out here. How could he ask her to leave that behind? How could he ask her to leave herself behind? Especially when she’d only just worked out who she really was.
‘You’re right, you should come back,’ he said slowly, realising that he meant it. ‘Either here or somewhere else. You can be yourself here, without the media constantly hounding you and fabricating stories about you.’
‘I’m not running away.’ She jerked her head sharply.
‘I never thought you were. But you have so much to offer, both as a doctor and as a human being. And the press won’t let you do that. They want to pigeonhole you because it suits their agenda to do so. Out here, you can be the person that I think you’ve always been meant to be.’
‘Really?’ Her shy smile abraded against his hollow chest, and he pretended he didn’t see the confusing hint of sadness in it.
Just as he pretended that he didn’t feel Rae everywhere. Restoring feeling to his body after it had been growing cold for so long. Making him feel alive.
Which left him with a choice. He could continue punishing her for little more than being the one person he had trusted enough to open up to. Or he could set aside all the reasons why being with her was a bad idea, and why it could only end up hurting one or both of them, and he could just enjoy this one perfect day with her. Christmas Day.
‘Have you eaten yet?’
She blinked slowly at him.
‘Not yet. I was just heading over there now.’
‘May I join you?’
She slid him a pointed look, her tone dark.
‘And if I said no?’
‘Are you saying no?’
He refused to bite and after a long moment she sighed, a little overly dramatically for his tastes.
‘I should. But this place is too cramped to avoid each other indefinitely. Besides,’ she added loftily, ‘it is Christmas.’
A smile toyed at the corners of her mouth and he had to fight the impulse to kiss it away. This was exactly what Rae did to him. She chased all logical thought, all sense of self-preservation, from his head until it was filled with only one thing. Her.
She made him want to tell her all the deep, black though
ts that crept around his head in the still of the night. She made him want to find a way to cage them so that they no longer plagued him. She made him want to be a better person.
But what did he really have to offer her?