‘Not entirely inaccurate, though, was it? Of course, my sisters played up to it as soon as they realised they might be able to gain from it, not that we knew it would become something as big as Life in the Rawl, and they fed the press all kinds of leads and false stories.’
‘Why didn’t you object? Why didn’t you defend yourself?’
‘I was embarrassed. Ashamed. Rafe would have been the only one I could talk to, and, as you already pointed out earlier, he was away on a tour of duty. I had no intention of contacting him. I didn’t want him to find out that way. I certainly didn’t know soldiers out there—his men—had access to it.’
She looked physically ill. It took Myles an inordinate amount of time to process what she was saying.
‘So that really was your first time?’ he asked eventually.
‘Are you listening to me at all?’ She scowled at him but eventually nodded her confirmation. ‘My first time. My only time.’
‘Which brings me back to the question I asked you earlier: why the hell did you film it?’
A look of pain twisted her face.
‘I didn’t. At least not intentionally. I had no idea the camera was even there. I trusted Justin. I told you, I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. He told me he did.’
‘He was using you.’ Myles did little to disguise his clenched fists.
If the guy had been standing there, in front of him, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t simply have knocked him out with a single punch.
‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me this when we met again in Rafe’s offices?’
‘Would you have believed me?’
Probably not.
So what had changed?
The fact that she was an incredible, dedicated, focussed doctor, or
the way she’d felt in his arms, her body wracked with the climax he’d given her?
‘Why not tell me that night?’
He didn’t have to clarify which night he meant. They both knew. Desire was beginning to move around the room, like molten hot lava threatening to consume her whole. She shifted awkwardly, trying to keep her head, trying not to give into these primal urges that seemed to flood her every time she was with this man.
‘What could I say, Myles? That what you did that night was like...nothing I’ve known before? I didn’t want you to know how inexperienced I was. I felt raw, and exposed, and I didn’t want a repeat of that night all those years ago.’
She tried to keep the pain out of her voice but the hoarseness was all too revealing.
‘So you rejected me before I could reject you again?’
‘I guess.’ She chewed her lip and he fought the urge to capture her mouth with his own. ‘I spouted all those lies. But you’re the one who believed them.’
‘I’m not sure I believed them. Not deep down. Not entirely. Not after the way you came apart at my touch.’
‘Is that true?’ she whispered.
‘You were too honest, too giving, too guileless. It was like a completely different person from the manipulative Raevenne of the press.’
Frustration poured through her.
‘Then why did you walk out as though you were so repelled by me?’
‘Perhaps my disgust was aimed as much at myself as at you. Your brother entrusted you into my care. I was supposed to be protecting you, not taking advantage of you. I was acting no better than that last no-mark bodyguard of yours did.’
Rae stepped towards him, her head swinging wildly from one side to the other, unable to begin to tell him how many things were wrong with that assessment.