She raids the pantry and hunts for something better than a vegan granola bar. Her dark hair is tumbling out of a messy bun, splayed long over broad shoulders. She’s beautiful.
She’s always been beautiful.
And I realize I’ve never really loved anyone like I love her. Dating a friend is one thing—dating a friend that I considered life-long feels like racing down the best black diamond slope. Exhilarating, nerve-wracking—or what a Meadows would say: the greatest adventure.
I center myself and hand Banks the frozen broccoli in the living room. He’s rifling through a storage bin on the bookshelf, searching for the battery packs.
“Is it that bad?” Banks asks about his face, pressing the broccoli to his mouth. We speak quietly since Quinn is still on the leather couch.
I scrutinize his swollen lip. “Ryke definitely wasn’t holding back.”
“Fuck-a-duck,” he grumbles.
“Hey, at least he didn’t break your face.”
Banks lets out a short sound, an almost-laugh, and I pick up the remote, lowering the volume of the TV.
Quinn peers up from his phone. “You guys want to hang at Saturn Bridges tonight? A girl DM’d me on Instagram—she’s bringing a bunch of her friends.”
Banks stiffens, then locks eyes with me.
Quinn adds, “I told her I’d ask my roommates since you’re all single.”
We’re not single.
A plate clatters in the kitchen. “Cumbuckets,” Sulli curses. She dropped a dish?
“You okay?” Banks calls.
“Uh, fuck…yeah.”
Banks abandons the batteries to go help her.
Unclipping my radio, I pick up his task. “We can’t go out, Quinn.”
“Damn. Alright. Maybe Donnelly will be free then.”
I head to the kitchen, batteries in hand.
Sulli is whispering up at a six-foot-seven Banks. “You want to fucking tell him first?” Her voice is pretty loud. “He’s like two seconds from setting you both up on blind dates—or with the chicks he brings home. Which is great—I’m sure they’re so fucking rad and cool.” She groans into her hands.
Quinn is looking over here.
“You have nothing to worry about, mermaid,” Banks whispers better. “You’re the coolest chick I know.”
“The raddest,” I chime in, joining their huddle.
Hands falling, she smiles from him to me, then I extend an arm over her shoulders. “Kits,” she says, “what’s the plan?”
“He’s our roommate. We’ll tell him.”
Quinn calls out, “There should be some bread you can eat in the pantry, Sulli.” He thinks she’s distressed about food right now. He knows she’s on a vegan pact with her little sister, and Sulli has been down in the dumps over no eggs, no dairy.
So he’s not far off.
“Have you ever gone vegan?” Sulli asks Quinn, a vegetarian.
“Once, and it was way too hard for me. I felt like I was slowly wasting away.”
Sulli’s eyes bug. “Fuck.”
I twist a strand of her hair around my finger. “You’re not wasting away, Sul. I won’t let you.” My knuckles brush the edge of her jaw.
Her cheeks flush, gaze dipping down to my lips. Tension draws between us, one that we’ve been refusing to lean into these past few days. I remember the knuckle-bump from earlier and the awkward beat afterwards.
For real, I just want to kiss Sulli like she’s my girlfriend. Because she is my girlfriend. And a kiss shouldn’t cause an earthquake of chaos.
Everything romantic has been a secret. But today, the three of us are choosing to set that secret free.
I drop her hair and then I hand Banks one battery pack.
He subtly gestures to Quinn. “I’ve got this one.”
“You sure?”
Banks nods, and the three of us move out of the kitchen. We stand around the living room, and Banks says, “We have something to tell you, Quinn.”
“Okay…?” Quinn actually mutes the TV, confusion on his face. I can’t even imagine what the hell he’s thinking. His puzzled eyes ping between us. “What’s up?”
“Akara, Sulli, and me…” Banks makes a motion with his finger, circling us. “We’re in a relationship together.”
I pipe in fast, “We’re telling everyone ourselves, so keep this to yourself, okay?” That’s an order, I wish I could add.
Quinn jerks back like someone slapped him. “Wait, you two are fucking?”
He’s looking between me and Banks.
That’s what he got out of that?
Sulli has her hands on her head and mutters, “Fucking fuck.”
Banks mumbles something, tossing the frozen broccoli behind us, in the sink.
And before I can cut in, Quinn’s hands shoot in the air. “Not that I’d care! Seriously, you do you—”
“We’re not fucking,” I say curtly.
Quinn nods slowly. “…right, so it’s like…a relationship without sex. Like a platonic thing. A bromance.” His eyes light up with the snap of his fingers. “It’s what the four of us have. Four single roommates forming bromances. Yale boys are going to be jealous.”
Banks gives him a look. “Donnelly is a Yale boy.”
“So the three of us then.” Quinn holds out his knuckles.
Sulli is hiding her face in her hands.
I’d like to never see another knuckle-bump again. That’d be great.