What? I slip Banks a sharp look.
Sulli quickly adds, “We didn’t have sex.”
I frown. “You think that’s what I thought?” I shake my head. “Banks wouldn’t sleep with you in a motel.”
A wave of silence rolls through the Jeep.
Sulli takes in my words. Maybe she’s realizing that I’ve thought about her and Banks sleeping together before. Or the fact that I know Banks cares enough not to take her virginity in a one-star motel.
I look back to Banks. “A naked kiss?”
“Semi-naked.” The corner of his mouth hikes up. “It was innocent.”
“How is a semi-naked kiss innocent?”
“You want the details?”
I give up on the A/C. “We have over a thousand miles for you to explain it to me. It’ll be harder for you to share than for me to hear.”
Banks smiles. “You’re fooling yourself, man.”
Maybe I am, but I’m not conceding. I brush a hand through my hair. “You’re not taking back that kind of kiss either, are you?”
“Fuck no. Would you?”
“No.” I would’ve loved to have a semi-naked kiss with Sulli. Maybe I’ll have more than that one day.
We go silent for the umpteenth time.
I wipe a trickle of sweat off my temple and roll down the window. Gusts of air blow in, but I’m still burning up.
Sulli leans forward more. Her breasts rise with a deeper breath, “So what the fuck are we doing? What happens from here?”
Banks and I exchange a tense look.
I know what happens.
He knows too.
I rotate more to her. “It’s your choice, Sulli. We can’t tell you who you want to be with. But we both want to be with you.”
“I have to pick?” Her voice pitches higher.
I nod.
Banks nods.
Sulli grips the backs of our seats and stares down at the driver’s cup holder. “How can I make a choice like that right now? I literally just kissed you both, and it’s not like I’ve been dating either of you.”
Banks assures her, “You don’t have to decide now.”
I add, “You’re not exclusive with either of us. We can just be casually pursuing you until you’re ready.” She still looks confused, so I scrounge for a metaphor. “Like you’re the Bachelorette, and we’re just two handsome dudes vying for your heart—but one of us is clearly better looking.” I touch my chest.
“You want Windex for those mirrors?” Banks asks, fitting a toothpick between his lips.
I end up smiling. “Only so you can see me better.”
Banks laughs, then tells Sulli, “One of us is clearly more humble.”
I nod once.
Sulli is lost in thought. Until she looks up. “So I just casually date you both like I’m the Bachelorette until I make a choice?”
“Right,” I say.
“What about the fantasy suites, Kits?”
I stiffen.
Banks frowns. “The what?” He’s never seen the dating show we’re discussing.
I explain, “It’s where the bachelor or bachelorette spends the night with the guys or girls they’re dating. I think it’s at like final three, and it’s implied they have sex.”
His brows spike. “The bachelor has sex with the last three women he’s dating? And they’re all okay with it?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Sulli is wide-eyed, her cheeks bright red. “Um…is that fucking happening or what are we…doing exactly?”
My chest tightens, and I rub my knuckles. “I think we should probably make a clear rule so no one gets hurt.” I take a beat. “No fantasy suites. No sex until you choose one of us.”
Banks nods. “I’m good with that.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sulli eases. “It’s less fucking complicated.”
Wisconsin farmland backdrops our drive. More fresh air whooshes into the car, rustling our hair and some loose gas receipts in the cup holder. Our set-decision should alleviate tension that’s been riding with us like a fourth passenger.
But my flippant bachelorette metaphor doesn’t mask the seriousness of what’s happening. What we’re embarking upon. A road where I’m in competition with my friend.
And one of us is going to be left heartbroken.
17
BANKS MORETTI
Sweet, sweet Montana. Alas, we’ve finally made it to Yellowstone Country.
Not that we see much in the dead of night. After parking Booger in a safe spot, we click on headlamps and hike to our backcountry campsite. A place much closer to the rock face Sulli plans to free-solo.
We set-up camp.
Working quietly, seamlessly—like the three of us have done this our whole lives together—we help each other pop up the teal tent, roll out the sleeping bags, and recheck our supplies. Through our exhaustion, we zip up the tent and start to pass out.
Three different sleeping bags. Enough room not to test any kind of waters. Too tired to even overthink how I’m not on an easy path to be with Sulli.
A miracle slams down to Earth to make that happen—because that’s all I’ve really been thinking about. How Akara and Sulli kissed. How I’m now competing for her affection against my best friend. Who also has history with Sulli that I don’t have.