“I want to meet him.”
Kimberly glanced at her son, not surprised by his words.
“Ryan, I…” What could she say? She didn’t know Daniel’s heart? But she had seen his hurt. No matter how much he hated her, he’d never turn Ryan away. “Okay.”
“When?” Ever the doer, once a decision was made Ryan wanted things to happen pronto. In this case that wouldn’t work. Not with school, sports, and her work.
“Spring break, while you’re off school.”
About six weeks away, but the best Kimberly could offer without Ryan having to miss school.
“We can’t go next weekend?”
If she’d agree, Ryan would be packing their bags to head back to Boston tonight. Daniel needed time to adjust to the idea. She’d give him time to come to his senses so that when Ryan reached out to him, Daniel would be ready and Ryan wouldn’t be hurt.
“What about basketball?”
Ryan’s brow quirked. “What about it?”
Knowing he would persist, trying to wear her down, she changed tactics. Her son was nothing if not protective of her, and she truly couldn’t face the thought of returning to Boston again so quickly.
“I’m not up to going back to Boston and seeing Daniel again. Not this soon. I’m sorry.”
The truth if she’d ever spoken it, but if it had been the right thing for Ryan, she’d book their flights immediately. If only she knew what was in Daniel’s head, and his heart.
Resigned to the delay, Ryan leaned back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. “You know, I heard you that night.”
Kimberly frowned. “What night?”
“The night I asked you about my father,” he clarified, causing Kimberly to place her hand over her mouth in remembered shame.
“I heard you crying,” he continued, “and I swore if I ever met the man who’d hurt you that much, I’d kill him.”
“Ryan!”
“I talked with Grandma about it the next day and she told me not to ask you about him ever again because he’d broken your heart.”
“Grandma shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“I broke my own heart by being too scared to fight for what I wanted, Ryan. I wanted Daniel to fight for me, but when it came down to it, I was the one who didn’t fight. I pushed him away and expected him to somehow know how much I was hurting, to know how much I needed him to need me. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t read my mind or that he didn’t love me back.” She couldn’t let Ryan place the blame on Daniel. “I didn’t fight for his love and I lost it. That was my fault, not Daniel’s.”
And when she said the words out loud, she knew they were true.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A MONTH later, Kimberly sat on her sofa, working on her laptop. She’d arrived home late, but Ryan was at Tyler’s. Although they’d spent the previous weekend at Tyler’s, working on a global warming project, Ryan had still gone to his friend’s following basketball every evening that week, perfecting the science project. No doubt the boys would get a top grade for it.
Glad it was Friday, she’d come home, heated up leftover soup, changed into her pajamas, and curled up on the sofa to get some work done. But an hour had gone by and she’d barely made a dent in her work.
Her mind kept drifting off to making love with Daniel on his office sofa and in her hotel room bed. She closed her eyes and felt his lips on hers, felt his hands on her body.
She ached. Ached deep inside at what might have been if life had played them a different hand. What would have happened if she hadn’t became pregnant that summer? If they’d had the opportunity to play out their relationship?
She wouldn’t have Ryan, that’s what.
Nothing was worth that sacrifice.