“Can we come?” both nieces asked in unison.
Setting Liz down, Matthew knelt beside Carrie. “Go in with the girls and tell the others what happened,” he told Na
talie. “I’m going to load Carrie into the car. Meet me around front.”
“I want Natalie!” Carrie cried, clenching her fingers into Natalie’s shirt. “Please don’t leave me.”
“And could you grab a clean button-up shirt and shorts from one of the girls for Carrie to put on when we’re through at the hospital?” Matthew continued, ignoring Carrie’s pleas.
Natalie looked hesitant, but then pried Carrie’s hands free of her shirt, took Liz’s and Mandy’s hands into hers and headed into the house with the girls in tow.
Taking care not to bump Carrie’s left arm, Matthew scooped her into his arms and stood with her.
She felt so little in his arms, so helpless. Shame that he’d let this happen to her filled him. Shame that he hadn’t done better by her. He’d known he wasn’t cut out for parenthood yet he’d played around at it for the past five months, pretending he could do this.
Obviously he couldn’t, and needed to do what was right for Carrie.
Natalie and Matthew’s family rushed out of the house, requested items in hand, just as Matthew was buckling Carrie into her car seat. He shut her door and motioned for Natalie to get in the driver’s seat.
“Could you drive so I can sit back here with her? I didn’t want to put her into her car seat, but two wrongs don’t equal a right and it’s my job to keep her safe.”
His tone implied that he thought the little girl’s fall was his fault.
Natalie reached out to touch him, to reassure him that Carrie’s injuries were an accident, but he shrugged away her touch.
“Oh, honey.” Matthew’s mother winced, taking a peep into the car at the child. “Grandma will be there with you in a few.”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Matthew immediately corrected. “Stay here with your company. I’ll call when I know something.”
His sister and a few of the other guests said things, too, but they blurred in Natalie’s head. Everything was blurring in her head.
Why had Matthew shrugged away her touch? For that matter, why had he stood at the swing for so long after Carrie’s fall?
Wanting to ask him about his odd behavior, but knowing now wasn’t the time, Natalie climbed in, pushed the button to start the car and had them on their way.
Her mind racing, she drove on autopilot.
Carrie went back and forth between whimpering and crying on the drive to the hospital, saying she didn’t want to go to the emergency room, that she didn’t want Matthew, that she wanted her mommy and daddy.
As she glanced in the rear-view mirror Matthew’s pale, gaunt expression tore at Natalie.
“You’re going to be okay, Carrie,” he soothed from the back seat. “This is going to be okay.”
He didn’t address her request for her parents, but then, what could he say?
* * *
The emergency room doctor consulted a pediatric orthopedic surgeon who’d taken Carrie to surgery to reset the bones, leaving Natalie and Matthew in the waiting room.
Carrie was wheeled away while Matthew looked as if he might pull rank and stay at her side during surgery.
Natalie understood. Part of her wanted to be at the child’s side to make sure nothing went wrong, too. Logically, she knew that Matthew or herself would just be in the way, a distraction that might cause a problem. They needed to let the surgeon do what he’d been trained to do.
She tried to comfort Matthew, but again, he wasn’t receptive to her touch. Natalie sank into one of the waiting room chairs and watched him pace back and forth.
His mother, sister and a slew of other family members arrived minutes behind them, despite Matthew’s request that they stay home. His family hugged him and comforted him and he semi-let them. Natalie watched, feeling more and more like an outsider.
They’d been waiting for what seemed like hours before Matthew got a call Carrie was in Recovery, that everything had gone fine and they’d allow him to come to see her very soon.