It was them.
Lilith
The walls in this place were like the flesh of rotting corpses. They’d lived a life, seen some shit, and couldn’t talk about it. My heels clicked across the tiled floor. This was The Dollhouse, the apex of everything in Patience. My mind buzzed with adrenaline. I just didn’t know why. I could feel the aftershocks ripple through me in waves, spinning my head into a spiral of chaos.
A door creaked opened, and standing on the other side was who else but one of the men who ruled beneath my father, Kosta—Kij. “Little Doll, you may go to your bed now.” He stretched the door wide, gesturing toward a queen bed. Looked familiar, but then it should, right? I lived here. Pain throbbed in the back of my mind, but I ignored it, lowering myself to my bed. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow you perform.”
“Okay,” I murmured, but my voice was broken and my throat ached as if I had swallowed razor blades. My brows curved in when my hand came to my throat. Why was it so sore? And why the fuck did everything hurt? “How many Dolls do we have now?”
He turned to face me as his hand rested on the handle. “Six.”
“Six?”
Why did I think we only had four?
“I think—”
“—go for a shower, Lilith. Rest your eyes. You must be exhausted.” He shut the door behind himself and I sat, my hands on my lap and my eyes on the blank white wall in front of me. A clock ticked in the background, but I sat. I counted five hundred ticks before I dashed to the bathroom and kicked down the toilet bowl.
“What is happening?”
I never thought much about my nightmares, but I knew I wasn’t the same as other girls. I think I figured that out pretty early in my life, but my nightmares? They’re something I acclimatized myself to. I enjoy them. I live for chaos. I bathe in it, dance in it, and fuck in it. My nightmares are where I’m completely free. I look forward to closing my eyes every night, wondering where my subconscious would take me. Of course, that was how I also found LSD.
Saskia pats the seat beside her, gesturing for me to take it. She has a glass of Coke handed out to me, her eyes wide and eager. When she notices I’m not going to sit down and relax beside her, she sighs, rolling her eyes and grabbing me by my forearms.
“Look,” she starts, dragging me down onto the chair. “I know it has only been a couple of days. I promise you’ll like it here.”
I don’t mind Saskia. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I like her. Out of all the Dolls that came in and out of The Playhouse, she is definitely my favorite. She nudges me with her drink, pulling my attention back to what’s happening right now. Not that I mind my mind wandering to The Playhouse or to Patience. At least it’s familiar, and I knew what I was doing. I don’t know who these people were. Not yet, anyway.
“Take a sip. I promise I didn’t poison it.”
I take the glass from her, knowing she isn’t going to let up anytime soon. “I wouldn’t mind if you did.” I don’t think about the words as they leave my lips. I do that often. I’ve never had to worry about what I say and what I do, because in his eyes, in all of their eyes, I’m perfect.
“Hey, so—” Saskia leans forward, just as I take the first sip of the Coke—and rum. There’s a small firepit in front of us, with the bus she put me in behind it. She said I’d be sharing with some girl Rose and a guy Kenan. Neither of which I have formally met yet. “—what do you think?” Saskia beams with a bright smile on her face.
Oh, shit. She’s still talking?
“What?” I ask, tilting my head while swallowing the rest of my drink. It is strong. Good. I’ll need something extra.
Saskia doesn’t miss a beat. “You being the ringmistress for Midnight Mayhem?”
That catches my attention. My eyes narrow onto her slightly. She winces, so I soften my edge toward her. Again, I like Saskia Dragavei, but I am who I am. I lean back in my chair while resting my ankle over my knee, keeping my eyes on the hot flames that dance in the night. Music spills out around me, pounding through the forest clearing.
“You remember how I ringmistress, right?”
Saskia nods her head, her dark brown hair bouncing around her shoulders. Christ, the girl really is beautiful. I would go as far as saying probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
“Okay.” I smile at her from behind my glass. “But I have to do things how I’m, you know—” I cock my head to the side.