Markis: Did you have a good night, sweetheart?
Me: Yes. Finally finished unpacking.
Markis: Excellent. I have some free time. I would like to come see you. Perhaps you can show me around your childhood.
I hesitate. Not answering him right away and that is unlike me. At least with him. It's funny, earlier today I would have been giddy at the thought of him coming here, but right now, something has changed and I don’t know what. It’s silly, right? I mean nothing is different from this morning…except…no…I am not going there. Get a grip Lilah.
Markis: Lilah, sweetheart?
I find myself staring at his message a moment longer, a myriad of thoughts running through my head as my finger hoovers over the keys.
Me: Sorry. Of course. I would like that.
I type out the response real quick before I change my mind. After telling him goodnight, I lie back on my bed and my mind drifts. I dream of a tall dark and handsome man…only…it's not Markis.
Chapter Two
BLAKE
Damn it, I need this day to be over with. “Sign here and here.” My secretary Glennis says to me making sure I don’t forget to sign the mandate for the city. “One more Sir, and then we are done.” She can read my irritation. She knows me. “Done. Do you have plans for the weekend?” She asks, gathering the documents and putting them in the folder.
“I’m the Governor. I always have plans.” I grunt out turning toward the window. I watch as people walk down the sidewalk outside the gates, moving through their life, finding purpose and enjoyment. As asshole-ish and whiny as it sounds, I envy them. The ability that everyone has to choose their life and the path it takes is not something I have ever had.
My mother is from the Goldberg family, originally from Georgia. They made their fortune early on in oil. Yea. Those Goldbergs. She knew her whole life that her marriage would be arranged and strategically orchestrated. Her father, my grandfather, had his eye on the Cochran’s almost from the word go and he made it known.
My father’s family, the Cochran’s, made their money in Diamonds. Not the ones mined in desolate countries being used for slave labor, but in lab grown and born diamonds, certified humane and environmentally conscious. They were the first of their kind and we have the initial patents. Before the diamond venture, my father’s great grandparents were Russian Oligarchs. Yea. The money goes back.
My parents were arranged at seventeen and married at twenty. Both families having something to gain from the merger. I was born the following year, followed by my sister Alaina. Our life was always scheduled, planned, and carefully prepared so we were always ready for cameras. There is not one moment I can remember in my life that was spontaneous and genuine. Not even love.
When I was sixteen, my mother brought me home from boarding school and informed me of my destiny. I was going to finish the rest of my education at home, while being groomed for the family business. For the next few years, I entertained them, swallowed my voice and went with the status quo. I waited until I graduated high school to let them know my future was in politics. I expected pushback. I got approval and a new team to guide my next steps. Should have known they would somehow make this about the family.
I will say this, with their help I became the Governor of California at the age of thirty sans scandals and bad press. So yeah, I am far from ungrateful. I have, however, been feeling unsettled and incomplete and I know it is showing in my attitude. “Are you ready, big guy?”
I swivel my chair and face my chief of staff and best friend Will. He and I met in boarding school my freshmen year and we were practically attached at the hip. When I told him of my plan, he vowed to have my back and be the one person in my cabinet I can count on, and he has not disappointed. “For what?” I know for a fact I don’t have an engagement tonight. I canceled everything. I am not in the mood for any of it.
“Our weekly drink with the guys, of course.'' he says, shaking his head as he grabs my jacket. Fuck. I forgot about that. For one night a week I pretend I am not the leader of this state and I spend a night playing cigar poker. We don’t bet money, we trade expensive cigars, and drink with my college buddies.
“Shit. Just tell them I can’t make it.” I turn my chair back toward the window and continue to pine and think.
“Fuck no. What the hell has gotten into you lately? You are not yourself, my friend.” he is not lying. “You look like shit and your attitude is…well let’s say you definitely wouldn't be getting reelected if it was time.” I chuckle knowing he is right. I wish I could explain it to him. Give him the words to help him understand what is ailing me on the inside. To paint the picture for him and everyone in my life, showing them the black hole that exists, but I can’t. Hell, I can't even figure it out myself. “You know what you need?” I raise my eyebrow, knowing he is going to tell me. “You need to get laid.”