“Rather important, don’t you think?”
“I did think about it.”
“Screeching or escaping?” he asked calmly.
“Escaping.”
“But you didn’t.” He pressed a soft damp kiss to my forehead. “Very brave of you, Martha.”
“Why do I always feel like a child throwing a tantrum around you?”
“I definitely don’t think of you as a child.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that. Your huge hard-on is sticking into my hip.”
“Like I said, I’ve been waiting a long time. Just ignore it. God knows, I’m trying to,” he said. “As for the other, you do enjoy a good tantrum from time to time. But I rather enjoy your sharp edges. Keeps me on my toes.”
I finished the champagne and held the glass out for a refill.
“You have tomorrow off, don’t you?” he asked, pouring the bottle with precision. “Because you’re going to have a headache in the morning if you keep drinking.”
I chugged the champagne like a lady. “Fill it again.”
“I am your servant in all things.”
“Bullshit.”
“You’d be bored out of your beautiful brains in under two minutes if I was the sort of man you could walk all over.” He chuckled. “Maybe less wriggling around on my dick unless you’d like to up the timeline for things happening between us. I’m amenable. It’s up to you really. Just a polite warning.”
I froze. “Hold up. The timeline?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you actually just say there was a timeline?”
“What?” he asked, seemingly perplexed.
“Fucking oversized ex-Navy SEAL alpha jerk control freak,” I grumbled. “You have, haven’t you? You’ve actually planned out to the day exactly how you think things are going to go down between us?”
At this, the man seemed to hesitate for once. Wise of him really. “I wouldn’t dare assume when it came to you, my love.”
“Oh, you liar. Let me guess, first a date. Somewhere nice, an intimate evening at a good restaurant.” I tapped a fingernail against my lips. “A few romantic moves, some hand-holding and deep and meaningful looks over dinner maybe. Then bang! Sex.”
“Ah, well…”
“I mean, you might have ideally wanted to wait until date two or three before taking things into the bedroom. But you have been waiting almost a decade as the boner sticking into my side keeps reminding me. So yes, we’ll fuck after the first date.” I saluted him with my glass of champagne before downing some more. My throat was so dry and my adrenaline levels high. It couldn’t be more necessary. “Around about that time, you’ll have a word with the guys to make sure they’re all aware that you and I are together and everyone’s fine with it. Because you’re all such a well-honed pack of male idiots who’ve been running together for so long.”
He just looked at me. The man had an excellent poker face. But I could tell…
“Yes, you’ll probably go out for a beer with my brother to start the whole advanced male bonding becoming a family one day thing. After that, you’ll want us to starting thinking about moving in together, getting our own place,” I said. Because that’s exactly what everyone else would do. And it might have been nice to be like everyone else, but I’d never quite fit no matter how hard I tried. Attempting normal would inevitably end in ruin. “Then, give it…oh say three months, we’ll go on vacation somewhere nice like Hawaii and you’ll pop the question. You’ve already saved up for the ring, haven’t you? Probably even got one picked out somewhere. Admit it, you do, don’t you?”
His lips stayed firmly shut.
“I’m not the only one who’s been paying attention, Sam,” I said. “Get you started and you’re like a robot with a stick up its ass with all of the organizing and planning everything. But I’m neither your job nor a combat mission, buddy.”
“Can you put a stick up a robot’s ass? I guess it depends on the type of robot really, doesn’t it?”
“Shut up. You know what I mean.”