Rocco shrugged dismissively. ‘So the money will come from us, Antonio’s half-brothers, there is no difference.’
‘Yes, there is,’ Julie insisted. ‘You talk of your own pride—the Leopardi pride—well, you are not the only person to have pride. I have it too, and I will not accept money. Josh is not a Leopardi. My pride is every bit as important to me as yours is to you, and I do not want your money.’
To his shock Rocco realised that something—a combination of emotions that gripped his heart in some unfathomable way—was making him want to take hold of her and go on holding her. Determinedly, he pushed the feeling away.
‘Maybe not, but you have Josh to think of.’
‘It is because I am thinking of him. I don’t want him growing up thinking that it is acceptable to live off other people. I want you to give me an account of everything you have spent on us so that I can repay you once my parents’ estate is settled.’
‘Absolutely not,’ Rocco told her arrogantly. ‘Your request is offensive, and an insult to me as a Leopardi.’
Julie’s eyes widened. What about his offensiveness to her? she wanted to say, but she knew there was no point. Rocco might describe his father as arrogant but he himself was no better. Arrogant, high-handed, incredibly and overpoweringly sexy—
Julie clamped down on the unwanted thought that had somehow or other managed to slip past her defences.
Her defences? Why would she need to defend herself against acknowledging that Rocco was a very sexually attractive male?
Did she really need to ask herself that, when she didn’t even have to see him or be with him to ache for a repeat of the pleasure he had already shown her?
CHAPTER TEN
IT HAD been Maria’s idea, and her determined lobbying of Rocco on Julie and Josh’s behalf, that had finally led to Rocco giving in and agreeing to take them both to watch the annual ceremonial parade in a small town ten miles away from the villa. Traditionally, to mark the start of spring and to bring luck for a good harvest to the town’s surrounding citrus groves, the townspeople paraded through the town on floats and in costumes. The event was one of the highlights of the year in the area.
As though the weather was determined to be in accord with the date—and very auspiciously, according to Maria—they had woken up to brilliant sunshine and a warmth in the air which, combined with the scent of citrus, couldn’t help but lift anyone’s spirits, Julie admitted.
Julie had dressed Josh for the event in one of his new outfits—a pair of neutral-coloured baby chinos, and a checked shirt in blue-greys and yellow, over which she had slipped a small matching pullover in blue-grey with a knitted yellow border. He looked absolutely adorable, Julie decided, and as though he knew that himself—or had picked up on her own excitement at the thought of having a day out—he was all beaming smiles.
But was her happy mood occasioned by the thought of a day out because she would be spending the day in Rocco’s company? Julie asked herself sternly as she finished getting ready.
What if she did want to spend the day with Rocco? There was nothing wrong in that, was there? Julie’s eyes widened slightly at her own naïveté. Of course there was something wrong with it. And what was wrong with it was the fact that she wanted to be with Rocco at all. She would soon be going home. Once she was back in London she would never see him again.
All the more reason to make any most of the opportunity to spend time with him now, the reckless voice inside her urged. Whilst that other voice, the one that knew her better, warned her that if she listened to its opponent she would end up being badly hurt.
It was foolish and dangerous to build fantasies inside her head that could never be anything but fantasy. So Rocco had made love to her and it had been a life-changing experience for her? That did not mean he felt the same way. For him it had simply been sex, and she must accept that and move on from it. Yes, now she knew what it was to be sexually fulfilled, and she could dream if she wished of how wonderful it would be one day to meet a man whom she could love sexually and emotionally, but she must accept that that man would not be Rocco.
By repeating that warning to herself when Rocco came to take Josh downstairs for her she was almost able to behave naturally, and as though the sensation of his hand brushing against her bare arm as he took the baby from her had absolutely no effect on her at all.
Although Maria had assured her that the parade had no religious significance, Julie had decided that it might be as well to cover up rather than risk causing any offence. She was wearing a pair of off-white linen trousers teamed with a cobalt-blue silky strappy top in case it got warm, with a matching prettily shaped knitted jacket over the top.
When she saw the way Rocco was looking at her she laughed and told him, ‘Whoever selected these clothes obviously didn’t realise they’d be worn by someone who spends her time with a small child. They are impractical, I know, but it’s such a sunny day that I couldn’t resist wearing them.’
‘You’ve put on weight,’ Rocco told her, ignoring her comment. ‘Good. You needed to.’
‘I suppose I had begun to look slightly scrawny,’ she agreed.
‘Not scrawny. That is an ugly word, and you could never look ugly.’ Before she had time to register the fact that he was actually paying her a compliment he continued, ‘Fragile is the word I would have used. Maria has told you, I expect, that she is joining her own family for the celebrations?’
Julie nodded her head.
‘I should warn you that it will be very crowded; it is best, I think, that we stick together.’
The minute the local lotharios saw Julie on her own they would home in on her like locusts, Rocco thought grimly. Had he ever actually thought of her as plain and dull? It wasn’t just the little bit of much-needed weight she had put on that was responsible for the glow that now seemed to illuminate her face, Rocco suspected. The fact that she was now free from the pressure of having to struggle to support herself and Josh as well as pay off her late sister’s debts must also have played its part.
They were in the car, Josh strapped into his baby seat and cooing happily to himself, and Julie couldn’t help smiling herself.
How could he possibly not have recognised her beauty right from the start? Rocco asked himself. When she smiled, as she was doing now, she had such a serene look of joy about her that it caught at his heart and stopped his breath. Any man would be proud to call such a woman his own.
Now what was he thinking? Hadn’t he always sworn that he would never marry or make a commitment to any woman?