And I fucking can’t.
Not yet, anyway.
“Be careful what you wish for, sweetheart,” I murmur silkily, my lips so close to touching her skin.
She doesn’t say anything back. She breathes hard, but she doesn’t push back against me to try to push me away, doesn’t give me even the flimsiest excuse to take what I want from her. One word. One look. One touch.
She doesn’t give it to me.
I don’t expect her to.
It can’t start like this. This would be wrong. I thought because she was forgiving I could get away with anything, and that’s how I lost her to begin with. That’s why she isn’t mine right now. I can give her that impression, that I’ll do what I want and she’ll fall in line, but I know to tread carefully over her soft spots.
I won’t make the same mistake twice.
This time, I will build my plan around Mia’s needs.
This time, I will not lose her.
FAMILY TIES
DELETED SCENE: BOOK FOUR
After Francesca and Mateo talk in his study and he apologizes to her.
Before the scene at the pool.
Mateo
After my chat with Francesca, I could really use a stiff drink. It won’t take my mind off things, but that’s the last thing I need now anyway. I’ve wasted enough of everyone’s time with indecisiveness. It’s time to enact a new plan, but before I take the first step, I’m going to take one last stab at doing the right thing—because I’ve obviously excelled at that up to now.
I hear the study door drift open. I’ve only invited one person here, so I go ahead and grab a second glass without looking up. I’m actually not comfortable with my back to him, haven’t been for a while now, but I’d rather die than ever let him know that. So, I take my time with the drinks, knowing he’s back there fighting the urge in this rare moment alone to pull his gun out and shoot me with it.
“You wanted to see me?”
The resentment, the dislike for me is present in his tone, like always. A grudge he nurses every day, burning up what’s still good in him. Giving Mia less and less to love.
“Sit,” I say, grabbing our drinks and heading back to my desk. I lean against the front edge, and as Vince approaches, I watch him war with his desire to remain equal. He doesn’t want to sit and let me look down at him, but I nod for him to take a seat anyway.
His jaw ticks, but he drops into the chair in front of my desk. I hand him his drink and take a sip of mine, watching him.
He throws back all of it, as if to emphasize that he’d like to get this over with and get away from me as expediently as possible.
I don’t rush though, so he’s just stuck sitting there, absently spinning the now-empty glass in his hands and waiting for me to speak. I can’t decide if it was a good idea to call this meeting so quickly. Probably should’ve slept on it. I’m in a weird mood today. Maybe it’s Francesca’s influence. Maybe the urge to pour gas into a car without a motor is an impulse I should’ve squelched.
But what the hell, he’s here, I might as well.
“You’re going to lose her.”
Vince’s eyes flash to mine, his hatred for me igniting, making him taut with poorly restrained fury. “Is that a threat?”
“No,” I say, a slight chuckle escaping me. “No, that’s not a threat, Vince. It’s an observation. A warning. One you’d do well to heed.”
He shakes his head in disbelief, his gaze dropping to the desk. “You’re unbelievable. Meg’s not enough for you, huh?”
“This isn’t about Meg,” I state. “It’s not about me, either. It’s about you and Mia. I know I fucked things up for you before. I know I hurt you both. But we’re family, and right now I’m trying to look out for you. I see you severely mishandling your relationship and I want to help. I’d like to give you some advice that will make you both happier.”
“I don’t need or want your advice, Mateo. I think I can handle my own girlfriend.”
“Clearly.” Rolling my eyes at his futile dramatics, I tell him, “We both know Mia has feelings for me. She’s always going to. You need to stop punishing her for that and accept it.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” he states, his anger bubbling up, since I’m making him acknowledge what he tries so hard to ignore.
“I’ve been betrayed before, too, Vince. You don’t have to inhale it with every breath you take. You don’t have to curl up and go to sleep with it every night. You still have Mia. She’s yours right now. You can choose to be bitter instead of enjoying her, but don’t expect her to stick around if you do.” Pointing at my chest, meeting his eyes, I tell him, “I’m not the threat this time. You’re dangerously close to chasing her off yourself. You need to handle your shit better if you want to keep her.”