There it is. I knew that would be her first stop. She still shoves against my chest like it’s killing her to have my weight on top of her, but now tears swim in her eyes. Every droplet of moisture that gathers in her eyes hurts. I wish I could count them all and put them on the tab I’ll repay later.
She can’t even look me in the face. “Just get off me. Please. I need to be away from you right now.”
“That’s not how this works,” I tell her, catching her wrists and pinning them on the bed.
Pain and rage fuel her, giving her more power as she bucks against me. This is how she fought me that first morning when she realized what I’d done and I brought her into this room. She may actually be fighting harder right now.
“People don’t hurt you for no reason,” she flings, slamming her whole forearm against my chest as she continues to push desperately. “Love isn’t weakness, and it’s not strength to do shit like this to try to chase people off. This is weakness. This is weakness. You’re weak.”
That vaguely annoys me. I didn’t actually fuck anyone and I don’t care what most people think of me, but I realize if she actually thinks that for even a second, I hate it. I do care what she thinks. A lot of people say things in anger they don’t mean though, maybe she’s one of them. Maybe this is coming from a place of hurt feelings, not a place of truth.
“I suppose you think it’s a strength to be loving,” I tell her, neatly pinning her to the bed again. “Do you feel strong right now, Mia?”
She glares up at me. “You can’t make me feel a goddamn thing. You think it matters if you pin me down, if you force me to do things I don’t want to do? You’re wrong. You can put your hands all over me, but you can’t touch me. Why don’t you get the fuck off me and run back to your friend Jessica? You can touch her all you want, apparently.”
“Oh, I can touch you, Mia.” I have to release one of her hands and she brings it up immediately and grabs my hair, yanking, trying to hurt me. I use my free hand to push her knees apart. She tries to squeeze them together, but I get a knee between her legs.
“Don’t you dare,” she shrieks, trying with all her might to twist her hips away, but I have her pinned down too well. “I don’t want you. Get off me. Get your filthy hands off me.”
Since I cover her pussy with one of my filthy hands instead, she cries out in frustration and claws my neck with her fingernails.
Fuck, that actually stung.
“If you’re trying to turn me off, you’re doing a very poor job,” I inform her.
“You didn’t get enough of that other whore?” she asks, glaring up at me.
“It’s never enough until I have you.”
“You could have had me,” she states, hurt filling her eyes again. “Now you can’t.”
“Sure I can,” I reply, caressing the warm entrance of her pussy. “If you don’t give it to me, I’ll just take it. Remember?”
“I forgave you,” she says, shaking her head at me. “I forgave you for everything and you just… you can’t stop hurting me, can you?”
That one lodges in my gut. I intended on doing more talking than this, on tossing more cruelty her way, but I’m actually feeling every bit of hurt I inflict upon her. It feels like I’m punishing myself as much as her. Ordinarily I dole it out and remain unaffected, but it’s hard as hell maintaining this lie. I feel… I feel sort of terrible.
Shaking it off, I reach down and grab her thighs hard, pulling them apart. I had to release her arms so now a flurry of angry fists rain down on my head. Damn, she is pissed.
She utters a chorus of denials, each “no” more aggressive, more desperate than the one before it. “Don’t you dare,” she finally says, as I free my cock and rub it against her entrance. “Don’t you dare,” she cries again. “I won’t forgive you this time. I won’t forgive you.”
I hope that’s a lie, because I shove my cock inside her regardless of her words. She’s spitting mad, but now she bursts into tears. That’s mildly alarming. Her arms fly at me again so I restrain them, locking my hands around them and holding them down as I ease back and drive into her harder.
She screams her frustration so loudly that I’m thankful we have a whole wing to ourselves. She cries and her tearstains burn my soul. She flings angry words at me, telling me she hates me and she’ll never forgive me. Each time she says the same thing over and over, it makes my heart sink with fear that she might mean it.