I stop short of telling him I’ve never loved someone the way Mia loves Mateo, that I’ve never been loved the way he loves her.
I have never needed someone to breathe.
And I never want to. That’s a terrifying prospect. Look at what happened to Mateo when she was gone. He’s strong as hell, but he let someone into his inner sanctum, then when he lost her, he was heartbroken.
I don’t tell him any of that. I don’t know why I even want to. The heartburn is getting worse and I look away from him again, focusing on the dark, dingy brick building beside us.
He doesn’t let me. Running his hand up the curve of my back, he smoothly guides me into the shelter of his chest, sort of hugging me while we sway. I feel like I’m suffocating. There’s nothing pushy about his actions, nothing forceful—it’s almost protective. Could be comforting, if I let it be. He uses almost no strength, merely suggests the shift, only guides me there, if I want to go.
My chest feels a little like caving in, and that’s before he speaks.
“Tell me something real,” he murmurs. “One thing.”
“I’ve told you lots of real things,” I mutter.
“Not about Mateo, not about Mia, not about Vince or Adrian. Tell me one real thing about you.”
It skates across my mind, the most ridiculous of thoughts. I pursued a relationship with Mateo Morelli, a crime lord, a known wife-killer, an unstable, manipulative hurricane of a man with few morals and unchecked power, and I wasn’t afraid.
Rafe has been nothing but nice to me, and he scares the living fuck out of me.
There’s something about him, something so gently intrusive. He’s much sneakier than Mateo and I don’t like it.
Clearing my throat, I shake off this weird spell and pull away from him. Once again, he exerts no strength, no effort to pull me back. He lets me pull away. I feel his eyes on me as I look everywhere but at him.
“You know what, we need to go or we’re going to be late to the show.”
“The terrible show?” he asks, his stupid tone so knowing that I want to kick him in the shin.
“The ‘so bad it’s good’ show—there’s a distinction. It’s going to be great.”
“Uh huh,” he says, drifting over to pick up his cell phone. “I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” I lie. Then I can’t pass up the chance to call him on his bullshit. “And yes, you were.”
Without waiting for a response, I turn around and head back toward the sidewalk.
Deleted Scene Three
Takes place after Coming Home and part one of Last Words, but before part three of Last Words.
Mia
“I can’t believe this is finally happening. This is going to be incredible.”
“It’s really not,” Elise assures me, shaking her head. “They’re going to wipe the floor with us.”
Mateo and Adrian are both looking quite sure of themselves as they relax in their chairs around the table in the servants’ quarters. At the center of the table, the Scrabble board is set up. Oh, Scrabble Gods, please let all my studying pay off. I want nothing more than to beat Adrian and Mateo at Scrabble.
“I’ve been studying,” I tell her, doling out tiles. “I haven’t played with Mateo in a while, but I think I’m ready.”
“That’s not true,” he remarks mildly. “You just played with me…” He pauses to check his watch. “Two hours ago.”
Elise grimaces. “Overshare. Major overshare.”
“They’re not really into boundaries,” Adrian informs her.
“Yes, I’ve noticed,” Elise says, dryly.
“Boundaries are overrated,” Mateo states.
I’m not sure I always believed that, but I find myself nodding in agreement anyway.
“Why don’t we do teams?” Elise suggests. “Instead of every man for himself, we pair up, couple against couple.”
“Women against men?” Mateo suggests, smiling. “This match will last ten minutes.”
“Only in your mind are you and Adrian a couple,” Elise states, smiling faintly. “He’s all mine. You can partner with your wife.”
Mateo shakes his head, leaning over to theatrically confide in Adrian. “Jeeze, Adrian, your wife even gets jealous of me.”
I bite back a little smirk at that one, grabbing the pencil and labeling the notepad “Best Scrabble Game Ever.”
“Not jealous, possessive,” Elise corrects. “And with the lack of boundaries in this house, I like to make sure mine are clearly drawn.” She points at Adrian. “Property of Elise Palmetto. No Morellis have rights to all this awesomeness. Only me.”
I can’t help melting a little. “I’m a Morelli now. Marriage is awesome.”
“I think I have certain rights,” Mateo disagrees. “I pay a lot of money to have certain rights.”
“Jesus, I feel like a piece of meat right now,” Adrian states.
“You love it,” Elise states, flashing him a knowing look. “All of us fighting over your awesomeness. Don’t even try to lie.”
“I mean, I’ve been in worse fights,” Adrian acknowledges.