“No.”
The tightness in my chest eased a bit, but it only managed to irritate me. Why was I so concerned about his girlfriend? It’s not like this—us—was anything. This was just…I rapped my fingers along the top of the steering wheel, frustrated and pissed off and not really knowing why.
This was nothing. Nate was nothing. I was nothing.
We were caught up in nothing. Together.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Nate had his door open and was out of the car before I could say anything, and for a second, I thought of driving away. Of leaving him here and just driving into the night. Going somewhere far where I didn’t have to think about Nathan or Trevor or Malcolm, or any of the mistakes we’d made to get to where we were.
“Are you coming?”
He poked his head inside the car, and though there was still this sort of sadness around his eyes, there was also something else. I thought that maybe that something else looked good on him. Maybe I was the reason that something else was there.
My mouth was dry and I tried to swallow. “Why are we here?” I managed to say.
He stared at me for so long without speaking that I felt my cheeks flush hot, and I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. That something else in his eyes touched me inside, and for just this one moment, it felt better than the nothing that was usually there.
He closed his door, and I watched him walk around the front of the car until he was beside mine. Carefully he yanked it open and moved aside so that I had room to move.
“You said you didn’t want to go home yet.” He paused. “I don’t want to go home yet either.”
Nate offered me his hand, and before I could stop myself, I took it. His warmth seeped into my cold fingers and his thumb pressed against the inside of my wrist.
My breath caught as I stared down at his hands.
His fingers were long and tapered, and I noticed a cool leather bracelet around his wrist. It looked old and weathered, as if he’d worn it for a long time. It meant something to him. Was it a gift from his girlfriend?
His thumb moved once more, his pad a little rough against my skin. The world tipped a little off center, and for one crazy second, time seemed to stop.
“Let’s go,” he said roughly, his thumb circling around until eventually he let go and turned toward the fire. “We won’t stay late. Only until…”
“Until what?” I asked, taking the few steps needed until I was beside him.
Nate glanced down at me, his expression unreadable, but I saw the way his pulse pounded at the base of his neck. I saw it and felt it.
“Nate?”
“Maybe, for a little while, we can both forget.”
Okay.
That was good enough for me.
Chapter Ten
Nathan
I didn’t know if bringing Monroe out here was a good idea—heck, I didn’t know if me being here was a good idea—but it sure felt right.
Though I suppose if my parents or uncle or even Mrs. Blackwell knew that I’d brought Monroe to a bush party, they wouldn’t exactly be thrilled. But the party was low key and none of the hardcore guys were out yet. It was way too early. They didn’t usually hit a party until after midnight, and I planned to be long gone by then.
I just wanted to…shit, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I only knew that I didn’t want to be alone and I didn’t know where else to go.
“Come on,” I said again, and this time when I grabbed her hand, I didn’t let go.
We started forward, and I nodded at a few guys tapping the keg over by an old tree stump. They shoved their red cups in the air and started to chug. There were a few more guys from the football team gathered around, and though they seemed happy to see me, none of them came over. I was used to that these days. No one seemed to know what to say.