I just didn’t think it would really come to this. I thought the peace that had lasted for years would hold. We would’ve been fine if the peace held. It’s not disloyal to express opposition at the prospect of my boyfriend trying to have my brother killed.
The door finally creaks open. I turn over to make sure it’s Sal. Once I see it is, I turn my back to him and feel a little less comfortable. I listen to him disrobe and head to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and I feel a stab of longing. It’s incredibly stupid and sentimental and just completely lame, but since we’ve been staying here we always go to bed together, so we brush our teeth together at the double sinks in the master bathroom. I feel guilty and like I’m missing out by not doing it tonight. I feel like I miss him, even though there’s only a wall between us.
Unfortunately the physical wall isn’t the only one between us, so despite missing him, I keep to my side of the bed even after he climbs in. I wait to see what he’ll do, if he’ll say anything, but he doesn’t. I wonder how mad he is at me. I wonder if he debated even coming up here tonight. The couch is pretty damn comfortable.
I wonder if he regrets doing all this for me. I wonder if he’s starting to doubt whether or not it was worth it. Whether or not I’m worth it.
I hear him moving around behind me, trying to get comfortable, and then his arm snakes around my waist and he tugs me toward the middle of the bed. I can feel the relief move through me, but I’m not ready to trust it yet. The heat from his body warms me immediately and I want to shove the comforter down. There’s air conditioning so the house isn’t warm, but Sal runs hot; snuggling with him is like snuggling with a space heater.
“Let’s look on the bright side,” Sal says suddenly. “If the maid dies, Mia gets your brother by default. You might get to rub my nose in it at their wedding after all.”
I crack a smile, glancing back at him over my shoulder. “That’s not gonna work.”
“No?” he asks, smirking and nodding at the faint smile on my face. “Looks like it worked to me.”
“You shouldn’t be so confident in your abilities,” I inform him.
“But I’m so capable.”
“So capable of pissing me off,” I mutter.
“Hey, I don’t pick my proficiencies.”
I sigh, bringing my hand to rest on his arm around my waist. “This is harder than I was prepared for.”
“I know,” he says with considerable patience.
“I hate this,” I add.
“Hopefully it will all be over soon.”
If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t. “And what does that look like? Whose funeral? This doesn’t end with everyone I love alive. There’s no way.”
Sighing heavily, he says, “There might be one way.”
I wait for him to go on, but he doesn’t. “Are you planning to share?”
“Nope.”
I lift his arm from my waist and roll over. He replaces it, but this way I can look at him. “Because it’s horrible?”
“Every path out of this scenario is horrible in some way, Francesca. I’m doing what I can to make as many people happy as possible. I do have to consider my own family, yes. I’m set to be as responsible for them as Mateo is for yours. That doesn’t mean your needs are any less important to me. Just means more stress for me.”
“‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.’”
“I haven’t had to wear it yet, but my time’s fast approaching.”
“My brother embodies that quote,” I state.
“Your brother makes a lot of his own problems,” Sal replies. “I would ask if the bastard knows how many people it takes to keep him alive on a day-to-day basis, but he clearly does and that’s why he has you all trained like fucking monkeys.”
“Well, he’s a very good trainer,” I say lightly.
“Yeah, I bet he rewards you with bananas and everything.”
Smiling faintly, I tell him, “No, his training materials run a little more expensive.”
“Your brother’s a pain in my ass,” he states.
My smile droops, given what almost happened tonight. “I know. He’s a pain in everyone’s ass. But he’s still important to me.”
“I don’t want to fight with you. Especially not about your brother.”
“Well, I don’t want him to die,” I reply unflinchingly. “Maybe he’s not a good guy, but your hands aren’t clean either and I still love you.”
“My hands are a hell of a lot cleaner than his.”
I think on this for a moment, wondering how dirty his hands are. I have no problem with that side of his life being separate, and considering how much I’ve had to brush under the rug with my own family, I can’t imagine Sal has any skeletons in his closet that would scare me off. I decide to ask anyway.