It doesn’t seem like her staying would be such a terrible thing.
“I know what that’s like,” she says. “To watch your mother die.” She climbs over a log, still following after Cocoa, and lets go of my hand to keep her balance.
“How long ago was it?” I ask.
She stares down at her boots. “Six months. She had dementia, though so it feels like a lot longer since she was really here, you know?”
I’m not sure what to say. I’m not sure what anyone could say to take that kind of pain away. It’s terrible watching someone you love disappear, even though their body is still here. At least my mother—drugged up as much as she is—still knows who I am.
“Were you close?”
“Yes,” she says. “The closest. She’s the only family I had. She was my best friend. My everything.”
My heart hurts for her. I’m about to be more or less alone in the world, but it bothers me for her than it does myself.
“Is that why you wanted to leave? Too many memories?”
She laughs, but it’s bitter. “Too many bills, more like it. We were barely managing as it was before her disease took over.”
Sophia gives me an alarmed look. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want you to think that’s the only reason I’m here. I could’ve figured something out, I’m sure, I just felt so…stuck where I was.”
I smile. “I know what you mean. And the thought of going back to dating…well…”
“It’s the worst,” she quickly says, chuckling.
I stare at her. I can’t believe it would be for someone like her. Someone so easy to get along with, so beautiful, with so much to offer.
Cocoa tramps back to us, slower this time, and collapses at my feet. She’s starting to wear out, and will probably stay close on the way back. Sophia steps up on a tree stump I cleared out last year after it was struck by lightning. She looks around.
“It’s beautiful here. Ireland is green, too, but this is different.”
“I’m glad you like it,” I say, genuinely.
She looks over at me, her face even with mine now. “Do you regret moving up here? So far away from everything?”
I shake my head. “I like the quiet.”
She laughs. “Yes, I know.”
“I’m sorry—” I say, but she shakes her head at me. She’s poking fun at me, but it’s good-natured.
Maybe she doesn’t regret coming here. I can’t help but hope that’s for more reasons than just running away from her debt, that perhaps she was looking for companionship too.
“Life feels more real up here,” I say. “I work in marketing. It’s all so transient. But up here, there’s so much that needs to be done for the land, for the house, just to keep it up, keep it comfortable during the winter. The road needs maintaining,
and there’s lumber to be cut and hauled, and if I don’t do it, there are consequences. My truck gets stuck. The woods fill up with dead material that’ll burn when lightning strikes. I guess I just feel like I matter up here, so much more than I did in the city. There I was just a cog in a machine, but here, everything depends on me.” I shrug, modestly.
I glance at Sophia and find her staring at me. She doesn’t look away when I meet her gaze. Her lips are slightly parted, and my heart begins to thump in my chest.
“That’s the longest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Sophia says, her mouth turning up in a smile. “And also the most beautiful.”
I reach out an arm, and before I know what I’m doing, I’m pulling her into my arms. She turns toward me, and then we’re standing, facing each other, her hands resting lightly on my shoulders. Her eyes are even more beautiful up close, seawater glittering in the sun, and I find myself breathless. She smells like wildflowers, and her fingers reach up and brush the side of my cheek.
And then I lean in and kiss her. When our lips meet, it’s as if lightning has struck again, right there on the tree stump. Her body presses against mine, and she kisses me back, at first softly then more eagerly. I can’t remember the last time kissing a woman felt like this, if ever. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, and she doesn’t pull away.
Cocoa whines at my feet and I break the kiss and look down at her. “What are you complaining about?” I ask.
Sophia giggles. “I think she’s jealous. Too bad I didn’t have a boy dog to bring along for her. I’m sorry, Cocoa.”