“Oh my God,” Kacee exclaims, clutching her hand to her chest. I jump backward, trying to put distance between us as Jackson comes barreling into the living room. He slams into my legs and climbs into my lap, clutching me tightly.
“What’s going on?” I ask, rubbing his back as he catches his breath.
“I had a nightmare,” he gasps tearfully. I force myself not to look up at Kacee over his head, instead focusing on pulling him back to look at his face. I rub his back to settle his nerves. He begins to calm down, now that he knows he’s safe. His gasps calm into hiccupping cries, then transform into sighs.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kacee asks, and Jackson twists around to see her face. He hesitates then shakes his head. “Okay, that’s fine. Maybe tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he mumbles. He turns from me and holds out his arms and Kacee stands and lifts him up, holding him close. It makes my whole heart twist.
“Why don’t I take you to bed and stay with you until you fall asleep?” Kacee offers, and Jackson buries his face in her neck and nods.
She looks to me and mouths ‘be right back.’ I nod as she takes Jackson to his room.
As I watch her walk away, all I can think of is how bad of an idea this is. I shouldn’t get involved with my kid’s nanny. The woman living in my house, teaching my children, invading my space. She’s gorgeous; I noticed that the first second I saw her, but that also means trouble. My heart is torn, filled with uncertainty. My body tells me yes, while my head tells me no.
I’m afraid of forgetting Rebecca, of tainting her memory, of feeling like I’m replacing her in some strange way. I’m scared of moving on and letting my guard down, and then it ends up not working out.
If I do this—if I mix business with pleasure—Evie and Jackson wouldn’t understand if she left. I would’ve taken away their teacher, the only woman besides their aunt to be in their lives. I don’t want to confuse them or be left behind if something happens. Her sudden departure would only hurt them while crushing me.
It’s for the best that we don’t cross those lines.
I hear soft footsteps on the wooden floor and turn around and see Kacee smiling.
I take her in her beauty and curves and can’t help but think how my willpower is being tested more and more each day.
And how I’m about to fucking lose.
6
Kacee
Jackson went back to sleep fairly quickly as I rubbed his back. I still feel flushed, overwhelmed by whatever just almost happened between Parker and me. His face was so close, and I can’t help thinking what would’ve happened had we not been interrupted.
I have to pause and take a moment to gather myself in the hallway. I don’t want to make a move, because I don’t want to push Parker or upset him. Now since the opportunity presented itself to me, an all-consuming want has taken over my senses.
I take a deep breath and walk back into the living room. Parker’s head snaps around to look at me. There’s so much intensity in his stare, and the energy in the room has changed. Now I’m worried I pushed him over an invisible edge—some inappropriate line—and the last thing I want is to start back to square one with his silent treatment and short answers.
He frowns at me, and know I’ve really screwed things up this time.
“What’s wrong?” he finally asks.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to cross a line, and I shouldn’t’ve said anything, or done anything, I just—I got caught up in the moment, and I—”
“No,” he says, cutting off my rambling. He gets up and crosses the room to me, towering over me. “Don’t apologize.” His voice is gentle and the firelight flickering on his face gives me to the ability to see the softness in his gaze.
“I’m sorry that you thought I hated you. I have a tendency to…be an asshole sometimes. As you know, I’m not social. It’s not you, it’s me—”
I hold back from laughing, “That’s the oldest rejection line in the book,” I tell him. “You’re my boss,” I remind him matter-of-factly, though it’s more to remind myself of that fact. I glance over at the fire, not able to continue staring into his beautiful blue eyes. “I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“Don’t,” he interrupts me. “Stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
I laugh, nervously. I can’t help it. “I got lost in the moment and shouldn’t have. I know how wrong it
is, but—”
“Kacee, please stop,” he says, placing his finger on my lips and stopping me. I’m stunned into silence because his touch rattles me. The way he says my name in a gravelly voice sets my inside on fire. I’ve never felt this kind of attraction before, and it somewhat scares me. The effect he’s had on me in such a short time has my mind swirling with emotions.
His free hand grabs mine, and I don’t move a muscle. I stare up at him, feeling the nervous energy seeping out of me with his overwhelming calmness and kindness. I don’t want him to stop touching me. Unable to pull away, I don’t break eye contact, and neither does he.