She snapped, “Why is it time? Why do we need to go back ever? There’s nothing there we want.”
“What’re you still so frightened of?”
She swivelled the chair around and faced her brother. “I’m not frightened.”
“Right.” He sighed, palms raised in submission.
“I’m not. What have I ever backed away from? Tell me.”
Rand pulled up another chair. “Fuck all. You’ve never backed away from anything, or anyone, except this.”
Rielle dropped her eyes, looked at the twist of silver chain around her waist and bounced her rubber boot heel on the floor. “So we do Australia, but skip Sydney.” That was like making an album without a hit song. But Rand would be too good to call her on it.
Too good but not too stupid. “Rie, that’s too weird.” His eyes narrowed. “Jonas is gonna flip out, but if th
at’s what you want?”
“What do you want?” She knew what he wanted. For her to forget, to get over it, and that was never going to happen.
He sighed again. “For this not to be such a big deal for you.”
“Yeah, like that’s happening.”
Rand laughed. He twisted the hoop in his ear. “I want twenty-five cities. I want Sydney. I want to go home.”
She took a deep breath. She wanted to tell him to go without her, go today, but she knew he wouldn’t. He’d had a hundred, a thousand opportunities before this tour came up. It still hurt him too. “Okay.”
“What?” He nearly left his seat.
“I said okay.” Rielle swallowed the muddy taste of rising panic. “You’re right, I’m shit scared about going back, but yeah, all right. Let’s do it.”
Rand grinned, rocked the chair back to its outer limit and folded his arms behind his head. He had a look on his face like he’d just learned Santa was real. “You sure about that?”
“No.”
He laughed, his purple-black hair falling over his eyes. “Twenty-five really great cities, eight months.”
“Sydney.” She sighed. Sydney was thudding rain, slick road, tearing metal. Sydney was screaming and blood and awful silence. Sydney was pain and reality sharper than nightmares. But Rand wanted to go home.
“All right then,” he fist pumped, “twenty-four really great cities, and one really bad memory.”
She tried not to smile, but Rand was having his own personal Christmas morning. “Twenty-three really great cities, and one really bad memory.”
He released his pressure on the seat back and it sprang upright. “Shit, where else do you have a problem with?”
Rielle looked at him sideways. “You can’t call Adelaide a great city.”
He laughed. “Okay, twenty-three really great cities, one overgrown country town and one really bad memory.”
“Put that in the tour bible and I’m there.” She put her feet back on the tabletop. “It is kinda cool, biggest tour we’ve ever done, longest time we’ve ever been on the road in one stretch.”
“Don’t tell me you’re excited now?” Rand put his feet on the table as well.
“I’m too cool to be excited.”
“Yeah right! Wanna call the suits back in?”
“Nah, let ‘em sweat for a while.”