It wasn’t a passing fad, this depth of feeling he had for her. It wasn’t about filling his time, or needing a distraction. Georgia was as fatal and as inevitable to him, as much a part of him already as his choroideremia, and yet he was such an expensive choice for her, a top of the line model that required intensive maintenance where a cheaper solution would do the job without the fuss.
He was a high tech submarine, where all anyone needed was a snorkel and mask.
He rolled over on his side and sat up, the pressure behind his eyes a constant thump. He wanted both of his girls to laugh more, to trust more, to believe in themselves and he wanted Taylor to let him love Georgia without thinking it meant he didn’t love her too.
He coughed, his throat sore. His whole head was a giant watermelon someone had taken to with a machete. “Georgia?”
Their conversation stopped. “I’m here.”
He’d expected her to be on the deck, but she was closer. “I’m so bloody sorry.”
“You give me heart failure.”
Give? His own heart was skipping too fast, pulsing in time with the headache. “It’s not your fault.”
“I know that now.” She did, her voice was steady. She wasn’t trying to convince herself.
“I’m going out. Be gone, oh, hours.” Taylor doing a disappearing act. She’d been hovering, would she do that if she thought Georgia was going to leave too?
God, he wanted Georgia to touch him, didn’t matter if it hurt. He wanted to touch her, but it felt like he needed permission. “I screwed up.”
“Little bit.”
He scoffed and the sound morphed into a sigh when her hands went to his shoulders. “Thank you for scraping me off the road. I’m appalled I let that happen. Let you see me like that. I’m sorry I frightened you.”
“Shhh.” Her fingers on his lips, her fresh scent in his nose. “Don’t worry about any of that. Tell me about your eyes.” She moved her hand.
“I lost—”
“I know. Angus told me. I want to know when it happened, how it makes you feel.”
He frowned; and that felt like being smacked on the bridge of his nose by lightning. It was the question he’d hoped no one asked, and they hadn’t so far because they were still furious with him. He’d had his whole adult life to get ready for this moment and his failure to deal with it was a stupendous cock-up.
Georgia’s hand lightly, fleetingly, on his knee. “You lost a part of yourself. I know a little about how that goes. It’s not an easy thing.”
Shit, he was somehow robbed of air. Yeah, his ribs hurt, and his throat was tight, but he’d not had any trouble breathing before now. “Do I still have a chance with you?”
“You’re going to have to really be roadkill before you shake me off.”
“Oh fuck.” He took a deeper breath and got rid of it quick as if she might change her mind if he didn’t finish the thought. “I figured I’d become your nightmare and you’re telling me you’re going to stick around for more bad dreams.”
“I’ve got worse news for you.” She stopped and so did his lungs. “I’m kind of crazy about you.” He swallowed ozone. “And since you know I’m seeing a therapist that might be a nightmare for you.”
“I give you heart failure.”
“In the best possible way.”
“I want to touch you, but I don’t deserve to.”
“I want to touch you, but I’m worried about it hurting. Tell me where you don’t hurt.”
He wanted her on his lips, the taste of her to take all the stings and remorse away, but if she started there she might give him a coronary. His heart was so full of gratitude it might crack his chest open and end him here in the Balinese pavilion in his own yard with the woman he loved not quite in his arms.
He held up his hand and she took it and pressed her lips to his palm, flipped it and kissed his knuckles. “Georgia.”
She kept his hand in hers and kissed his wrist, then his forearm, a flick of her tongue, then she moved on, the inside of his elbow, his upper arm where she found a bruise Taylor found earlier, just under his sleeve.
“Oh, that’s black.” Her hands to the bottom of his t-shirt. “Take this off. Let me see.” He winced when she pulled the shirt over his head. He had to be bruised on his ribs, they were so tender to touch. “Oh, Damon.” She put her whole hand lightly across his side, and it was cool, comforting.