INDIA: I'm just leaving work. What are your plans?
JON: I'm having dinner with the guys and then it's the convention all day tomorrow. We're going to do some paintball after we do the wrap at the convention. I'll be busy but I sure wish you were here. You'd probably be bored with all the former-soldier talk and bullshit, though.
INDIA: No doubt!
JON: What are you doing tonight? You and Marina getting together?
INDIA: Nah. Staying home. She's having her usual MATCHED party and I told her I wasn't interested in meeting anyone else for a while.
JON: That's good. Cause I'd be jealous as hell if you went on a date.
INDIA: Just jealous?
JON: Probably insanely jealous. Fly back home and stop you jealous.
INDIA:
INDIA: What about you? Not going trolling for pussy tonight, I hope…
JON: Nah, the guys are all happily married so we're going to sit around the hotel bar and shoot the shit.
INDIA: Good, because I might have to get a new phone number if you were.
JON: No worries. Not gonna happen.
INDIA: I wish you were here tonight.
JON: I could call you later and we could do some phone sex…
INDIA: I've never done it before.
JON: First time for everything. We could do a session of Facetime so I could watch you.
INDIA: That sounds so desperate.
JON: I am, I am! Call me at ten your time. It'll be 1:00 here. I should be back
by then. I'll make sure I'm back.
INDIA: Okay…
JON: It’ll be fun. I'd love to watch you make yourself come.
INDIA: I'll be embarrassed.
JON: No, no! You can't be embarrassed! There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Men fantasize all day long about watching beautiful women get themselves off. Seriously fantasy material. Spank bank material.
INDIA: Spank bank?
JON: You know – spank the monkey?
INDIA: ???
JON: Masturbate. Beat the meat. Bleed the weasel. Buff the banana. Bop the weenie. Flog the log. Jerkin the gherkin. Pump the python.
INDIA: OMG
JON: Choke the chicken.