“He knows, dear,” she said and smiled sadly. “He knows you love him. He knows that Drake loves him, too. Having you two together has been one of his greatest joys. Seriously, he was so worried about you before you met Drake. He was afraid you were losing your way, and would never do what you wanted. When you met Drake, you blossomed. You became who you were meant to be. That made him so happy.”
I sat and cried for a few moments, silently, tears sliding off my cheeks. I wanted to be able to speak to my father before he went into surgery, to hold his hand, and to tell him how I felt and how lucky I was to have had him as a father. All those years, I was so wrong about him and how he felt towards me. I always felt like he didn’t approve of what I wanted to do and I had to do what he wanted or he wouldn’t love me. Instead, he was always encouraging me no matter what I said.
In about half an hour, after Elaine and I caught up on how my father had been during the previous week, the door to the waiting room opened and in walked Drake. I was so glad to see him, dressed in his camel coat, a plaid scarf around his neck, his hair still a bit damp at the edges. He had a cloth bag in hand.
He came right over and I stood so we could embrace. His arms went around me and he pulled me close, his face pressed into my neck. I heard him inhale deeply and knew he was smelling my perfume. Then he kissed me and hugged me again.
“How are you?” he asked when he pulled away.
“I’m okay,” I said. “He’s still in surgery.”
Drake nodded, his expression solemn. “He’ll be a few hours. I stopped by the apartment to check on Sophie and brought this,” he said and held out the bag. I took it and peered inside. It was my breast pump and container for breast milk. “You’ll probably have to expel soon."
I nodded. “Thanks,” I said and took the bag from him. “I probably will. I had a nap and Karen fed Sophie a bottle so I’ll be more than in need of expressing.” I set the bag beside me.
He turned to Elaine. “How are you doing?” he asked and held his arms open for her. She stood and stepped into his embrace for a brief hug and peck on the cheek.
“I’m fine,” she said with a tired smile. “I’ve spoken with his doctor and know that if he makes it through surgery, it will depend on how the mend works.”
“He had a bleed and they’ll have to go in and repair the vein. It may take some time for him to regain function. We won’t know for a while.”
Drake took off his coat and scarf, hung them on the coat rack, and then returned to where we were sitting. He glanced at the two of us. “If you’re okay, I’ll go and talk to the nurses, then be back with any news.”
I nodded and he squeezed my hand, kissing my cheek before he turned to leave us.
“I’m glad you called,” Elaine said when he left and we were alone. “I was feeling bad not calling you, but I have to respect your father’s wishes. It’s better that you’re here. How is Sophie?”
“She’s doing great,” I said and smiled softly. “She’s gaining weight and sleeping longer.”
“Good,” Elaine said. “I’m also glad that you got a nanny-slash-housekeeper. New mothers need far more help than they get. I learned that when I worked for a while on the maternity ward. I’d never want to have a baby and be completely alone. I volunteered for a while with single moms who were receiving aid. They do so much. There’s so much stress.”
“I’m so lucky I have Drake at home with me. I don’t have to worry when I need a break. He’s always there. Plus, now we have Karen Mills. She’s cooking dinner and did some tidying, plus she took Sophie so I could nap. I feel bad leaving her with Sophie the first day on the job.”
“I’m sure she understands, considering what happened with your father.”
I sat back and took in a deep breath, calming down somewhat now that Drake was here. He’d go and find out what happened to my father and report back what he could find out. Elaine was good because she was a nurse and knew medicine, but she hadn’t been practicing for several years. It was good to have Drake there.
I hated to think of leaving Elaine alone at the hospital, however Drake or I would have to go back to the apartment, either to feed Sophie or to take back the bottles of breastmilk. Karen couldn’t be expected to stay for the entire evening.
Elaine and I sat together and talked about my father for about fifteen minutes. Finally, Drake returned.
He sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. He glanced between Elaine and I and his face seemed a bit more relaxed than when he arrived.
“I popped in and watched surgery for a while on my screens,” he said. “Things are going according to plan. That’s all I know. We’ll have to wait to see how he does. He should make it through surgery. They didn’t seem overly concerned.”
“That’s good,” I said and closed my eyes, trying hard not to start crying again. I covered my eyes with a hand, and Drake pulled me into his arms, not saying anything. The feel of his arms around me was comforting, and I was able to get control over my emotions once more. When I pulled back, he caught my eyes and his expression was so tender and compassionate. How could anyone ever think he was a sadist? If they knew him, they’d know he could never hurt anyone on purpose or get any pleasure out of it.
“I’m okay,” I said. I inhaled deeply, trying to be strong. I had to face whatever happened. I couldn’t be a mess. I had Sophie and Drake and Elaine to think about.
“I spoke with Karen and she said she’d be happy to stay until midnight, if that’s necessary. I told her that I’d call her and let her know, depending on how Ethan is.”
I nodded and sat back, sitting between Elaine and Drake, watching the clock and waiting for news of my father.
It was going to be a very long day.
Chapter 9 : Drake
As a neurosurgeon, I knew that Ethan was in considerable peril, given the new bleed and how weak he already was. But as a neurosurgeon, I also knew that the brain was much more resilient than we previously understood.