"Not like Josh," I said, and wiped my eyes. "I thought everything was so perfect between us."
"Tell me what happened."
We sat at the island and I told her about the messages I got and the link to the page with pictures of Josh and this blonde woman.
"One of the pictures was dated the weekend Josh went away. The day of his friend's funeral. The messages said Josh had been cheating on me with her the whole time."
"Did you ask him about it?"
I frowned. "No, I just left. I needed to get away and think things through."
My mother sighed. "It seems to me that you have to ask Josh before you do anything. Maybe the person who sent the messages was lying. You didn't even give Josh a chance."
"If he cheated on me, he doesn't deserve a chance."
"If is the proper word. You don't know. You only have some anonymous person's word and a picture. Was it of them having sex?"
"No," I said and frowned. "It was a picture of them in a kitchen and he had his hands on her shoulders."
"Maybe he was just talking to her."
"But there were other pictures of them together, and they were clearly romantically involved."
She didn't say anything for a moment and then I heard her sigh.
"Sweetheart, you were hurt badly by Derek. I understand it's made it hard to trust another man, but you have to give Josh the chance to explain before you rush to judgement. Not all men are like Derek."
"I didn't think Josh was like him, but if he was cheating the whole time we were seeing each other..."
"You don't know that for a fact. Talk to Josh. Let him explain. If he admits he was cheating or can't explain that picture of him with the blonde, then tell him it's over."
I nodded. I knew she was right. I hadn't given Josh a chance to explain because I was too afraid of what he'd say. I didn't want to hear him give me some lame excuse about being heartbroken over his friend's death and falling into this woman's arms for comfort. I didn't want to hear him say he was just drunk and didn't really mean to do it.
My mother reached out and took my hand, squeezing. She gave me a soft smile of encouragement.
"Call Josh, or text him, whatever it is you young people do. Give him a chance. If he's been good to you up till now, he deserves at least a chance to explain."
"Okay."
I got up from the counter and went to the bathroom for a quick shower. The spray of hot water always seemed to help me get my head on straight.
Once I was dressed and had a fresh cup of coffee, I sat at the dining room table and took out my laptop. On my messenger was notice of five messages.
I figured they were all from Josh, and when I clicked on the icon, I was right.
The latest message was from thirty minutes earlier.
I read over the messages in order of their timestamp.
JOSH: Ella, I'm coming to Concord. I'll be staying at the Marriott. Please message or call me so we can talk.
JOSH: I'm just passing Boston. I stopped at a gas station and wanted to let you know that you matter more to me than anything and I need to know what I've done to make you leave.
JOSH: I've checked in to the hotel and am lying on the bed, feeling lost without you. Please, tell me what's wrong.
JOSH: It's morning. I barely slept. Please, Ella. Talk to me.
He sounded so upset that I'd left and wasn't talking to him.