ELLA: I'd tell him to go fuck himself.
STEPH: Really?
ELLA: Yes. I was cheated on for years. Josh knew that. He was cheated on for years, too. How could he do it?
STEPH: Maybe it was when he was drunk and sad about his friend?
ELLA: That doesn't excuse it. Nope. If he did, we're through. Better I find out now than down the line when I think something more is going to happen between us.
STEPH: I guess you have to ask Josh. Get him to tell you about Penelope.
ELLA: *sigh* I hate confrontations. I try to avoid them at all costs. I'd rather send him an email and never see him again.
STEPH: You know you have to ask him now that you got that phone call and saw the pics. Just ask him. Say, "Tell me about Penny.” Leave it at that. Let him expand. See if he admits he cheated.
ELLA: What if he says he hasn't seen her for years?
STEPH: Then, you have to tell him about the phone call and that you saw pics of them and see ho
w he responds. The caller may be this Penny person who's jealous and is lying to get back at you or something.
ELLA: That's devious.
STEPH: Hun, I excel in recognizing and anticipating devious. I grew up with a sister who was devious as all get out and I had to learn to protect myself.
I remembered Steph talking about her sister when we first met in high school. Her older sister was a confirmed sociopath, who was a compulsive liar and thief who did terrible things and was finally sent to juvenile detention because of it. She moved away when Steph's mother and father finally had enough and cut her off. As far as I knew, Sheila was grifting somewhere in Boston, trying to find rich boyfriends to mooch off. She was beautiful and used her body to control men. She was so beautiful that men seemed to lose their minds with her and showered her with gifts and money. She clearly used them for their wealth.
Steph was worried that one day, Sheila would kill one of her men for insurance money.
ELLA: I'll ask Josh. I'll have to work up the nerve first. I was so happy, Steph, and now this happens...
STEPH: The course of true love never did run smooth. Or so Willie Shakespeare says.
ELLA: *sigh*
STEPH: Ask him about Penny and let him tell you. You'll have to decide what to believe and whether to believe based on what he says. Sorry, kiddo. That's what you have to do.
ELLA: You're right. I'll ask him tomorrow.
STEPH: Let me know how it goes, and hun, I can come down there on the weekend if things don't work out the way you wish they would. Just let me know and I'll be there.
ELLA: Thanks. XOXOXO
STEPH: XOXOXO back at you.
I put away my cell and sat at my desk, feeling especially glum.
I knew Steph was right. I had to confront Josh about this Penny woman and see what he said. I'd have a pretty good idea if he cheated on me by his answer. If he did, I just couldn't be with him. I couldn't tolerate a cheater, no matter the reason. I didn't care if he cheated on me because he was upset about the funeral. That wasn't good enough to justify sleeping with another woman.
No, sadly, if Josh cheated on me while he was away at the funeral, that was the end of our relationship. My stomach felt sick as I contemplated us breaking up. I couldn't imagine it.
The problem was, I didn't want to know. I didn't.
Josh and I were so good together. There was never a dull moment, and the sex was off the charts. We both valued the same things and had the same goals.
It was Friday at lunch. I checked the Amtrak schedule -- a train was leaving at five thirty. I had enough time to get to my apartment, pack a bag, and then go to Concord.
I texted my mother.