Then I hung up, shaking my head at him. Of all the men to give me relationship advice, he was the last on my list. I knew he meant well, but he really couldn't keep it in his pants and didn't need to. My only concern for him was always STDs but he'd been able to keep clean over the years, despite the extravagant and debauched lifestyle he led.
But even someone as jaded and freewheeling as David had to come down to earth someday, and have a meaningful life with a wife and kids. He didn't have the same financial incentives as the rest of us did, given his income from the band, but even he had to grow tired of the lifestyle on the road with the endless trips and concerts.
He'd succumb someday, but I doubted that day would come any time soon.
That night, after a long day spent putting out business fires and trying to keep my head above water with business matters, I went to the penthouse apartment and ordered in dinner from a local restaurant. I had a shower and sat in my underwear in front of the television and ate my food, watching a game on the flatscreen.
It hit me all of a sudden how much of a loner I had become after Christie and I split. Other than a drink with the guys at work once a week, I really did nothing much else other than work. Before my father died, I'd spent so much of my evenings and weekends during the past six months visiting with him at his house, and at the end, in the hospital by his bedside.
I didn't have time for a social life, although I had slept with a couple of women I'd met at a bar with my friends once or twice after Christie and I split. But nothing more. And nothing like the life I led with Christie before we ended it. We were busy with other couples we both knew, attending gallery openings, charity events, dinner parties.
Now, that was all gone and I really was alone.
I took out my cell and texted Ella.
JOSH: I've never spent much time in the photocopier room up till now, but it's become one of my favorite places.
I waited for her response, expecting something impertinent. Soon, I saw the little dots and knew she was writing me back.
The dots hung there for a long time, and I figured she had some smart retort to my text message. As the dots hung there and I waited in anticipation, I wondered what she'd say in reply. Something about how she'd been delayed and that I should really stay out of the photocopier room in the future if I wanted her to do her job. Whatever her response, I was smiling to myself, eager to read her text.
When the response came, I was underwhelmed
ELLA: I imagine.
That was it. All that time and she sends two words? I realized she had deleted the longer text she had actually written, having thought better of it. I knew she'd feel unsure of whether to respond at all, because I was her boss.
JOSH: I told you I'd remove myself as manager of Macintyre Publishing so we wouldn't be boss/employee.
ELLA: I know. Not sure if that really addresses the issue.
JOSH: Which is? The only issue I see is whether you're coming on Thursday.
ELLA: Not sure.
JOSH: You're sure to enjoy yourself. I happen to know you have the time off. What's stopping you? I've been clear that there are no strings attached. Just us and pure pleasure for four days. Isn't this what you wanted when you moved to Manhattan? To meet your own Mr. Big and use the experiences to write your bestselling chick-lit novel?
ELLA: Plot twist. In the movie, she marries Mr. Big.
JOSH: Are you marrying me?
ELLA: I'm never getting married.
JOSH: Then, it's settled. No marriage for you. Just pleasure. And great conversation.
ELLA: Like I say, we'll see. Try and enjoy the suspense.
JOSH: I hate suspense. I like to know what to expect.
ELLA: If I come to Bali, you can expect four days of sun, sex and satisfaction. How's that?
JOSH: Sounds like a plan.
I put my cell away but felt unsettled after my conversation with Ella. It seemed like she didn't want a committed relationship -- ever-- but at the same time, she didn't really seem to want a casual one fueled primarily by mutual lust. Was she afraid of falling in love? Maybe she didn't trust herself not to.
Whoever Jerkface was, he must have hurt her deeply to be so reticent about another meaningful relationship and yet afraid of a meaningless one. I could understand that sentiment, but I knew I couldn't be happy without sex in my life. If it had to be only casual, that would be fine with me until I did meet a perfect woman and get married. While I waited for that to happen, I saw no reason why Ella and I shouldn't be able to enjoy each other physically, even if we didn't become emotionally involved.
I tried to shove those uncomfortable questions out of my mind and focus on the game. I was even able to enjoy it for a while, but the game turned out to be way too one sided and my team was losing so I lost interest and turned to the news. That was even less satisfying and frustrating, so I decided to go to bed.