“It’s one thing to know you’ll die,” Max went on. “It’s another thing to know that you’ll lose all sense of who you are before you do; that you’ll become a monster. I hadn’t thought I’d be saved, so the whole thing had felt like a slow death. I don’t just owe you my life, Paige. I owe you my fucking sanity.”
The fuck he did. “You don’t owe me anything. All I did was use my gift.”
“And, in doing so, brought me back. In my books, you don’t repay something like that by coming onto the person who saved you when you have so little to offer. No, you protect them, you look out for them, you respect them enough not to muddy their life with your personal shit. So I told myself I wouldn’t touch you. And despite wanting you with every breath I took, I held out. Until tonight.” His eyes darkened. “I swear I can still feel you squeezing my fingers.”
I swallowed, mentally scrambling to process his words. The guy had been resolved to never touch me because he felt that he owed me? I didn’t even know what to think of that. It was sort of noble. But it also seemed senseless, because there was no debt. Not really. And I was no saviour.
Oh sure, my gift could help people. But it wasn’t exactly a ‘good’ power. I didn’t so much heal as steal an injury—sometimes from myself, sometimes from others—so I could then slap that wound onto another. My power was a weapon, especially on the battlefield. Healing injuries was more like a side effect of it.
Max wasn’t the only person I’d helped who’d been tainted by The Call. None of the others appeared to feel they owed me. Hell, we’d all aided each other countless times when in the field anyway. So this … no, I didn’t see why Max should feel indebted to me.
One thing I understood was that if he had fucked me tonight, he would have regretted it because of this deal he’d made with himself. Hell, he was probably regretting the very little we did do. And that knowledge was enough to make me back away.
Ignoring the sinking sensation in my stomach, I smoothed out a non-existent wrinkle in my dress. I could forget this happened. Totally. I could forget he kissed like a master. I could forget how his fingers felt inside me. I could forget the intense orgasm that whipped through me. Really. Easily. Totally.
His eyes narrowed at my retreat. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
I forced a casual shrug. “I don’t agree that you owe me anything, but I respect your decision to keep things platonic.” It wasn’t like I had a choice, was it? “We’ll just put what happened here out of our minds.” I crossed to the door, cool and composed. “Enjoy the rest of your night.” Then I left.
CHAPTER THREE
(Paige)
With a slice of toast in one hand and a drink in the other, I stepped out onto my balcony the following evening. It was fairly dark, but my vampiric eyesight picked up everything just fine as I watched the activity below. Most people in this particular Residence Hall—which was exclusive to legion members—preferred the beach-view rooms, but I liked being able to look out upon The Hollow as it came to life each evening when the sun set.
People walked along the paths, wandered in and out of buildings, or crossed the bridge that had been built over the man-made, white-sanded beach. Several buildings bordered the beach, including bars, stores, cafes, restaurants, and Residence Halls. Antonio had once described the community as a world within a world. It was a pretty accurate description.
Settling on the patio chair, I alternated between eating my toast and sipping my vanilla-flavoured NST. A mix of blood and vitamins, the Nutritional Supplemental Tonics did a good job of answering our cravings, but they never truly quenched our thirst the way pure blood did.
I watched as several people filed out of the Guest House near the mansion. The vampires who’d come to witness Alora and Evan’s ceremony would be heading home this evening. Many of them were pretty hoity toity, so I wouldn’t miss having them around.
Thinking of the afterparty made my stomach roll. After the restroom scene with Max, it had been tempting to slip away and head home. But that would have been noticed, not to mention selfish—it would have offended Alora. So I’d strolled out of the restroom casual as you please and sought out my BFF, Imani.
Word had gotten around that Max and I had some sort of tiff in the restroom. I’d explained what happened to Imani—minus the finger-fucking incident and his ‘I want you’ confession. Imani had laughed and expressed surprise over his apparent protectiveness toward Ursula. I hadn’t corrected her.