I was left alone with several guards.
“Don’t go anywhere,” Kaspar said, lingering near the door.
“What are you going to do?”
“I have some people to kill.” He didn’t smile, only stared at me for a few seconds longer, like he wanted to remember my face before going to do something dangerous, then left.
I wandered into the living room. The enormous windows gave me a breathtaking view of the city. The furniture was lavish, the refrigerator was stocked.
I didn’t care about any of it.
I wanted Kaspar to come back. I needed him to make me understand what the hell he was talking about—why he killed Alice, why he was attacking Maeve, and how it all connected back to me.
None of that was forthcoming.
I spent another day alone. I sat on the couch, sketching:
Kaspar staring at me with lust in his eyes.
Kaspar walking across the farm, gazing out at the corn with a distant stare.
Kaspar smiling as he helped me load the crossbow.
Kaspar looking up moments after getting me off, his expression glowing.
I drew him over and over again, trying to find some truth I was missing, and only made myself realize something I was trying to avoid.
I cared about him.
It was stupid. Kaspar had done nothing but hurt me. He claimed I was important to him, said he loved me, and I still couldn’t believe it.
Except I saw the way he looked at me. I felt his fingers and his tongue. I tasted his kiss.
He beat Scott bloody for looking at me the wrong way. He smashed a glass into Redmond’s face for sneering at me and making lewd comments.
I closed my eyes and shuddered as night fell and I wondered what intrinsic piece of my soul was broken if I could give a damn about a man like that.
He returned sometime after nine. His right side was drenched in blood; he walked with a limp. His guards fussed over him, but he pushed them away and collapsed onto the couch.
I stared at his sweat-drenched face, his eyes shining.
“You won, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “I could use a drink.”
I clenched my jaw, trying not to get angry. “Take off that jacket.”
“Why? Forget the jacket. There’s whiskey on the side table.”
“Take it off, you idiot.” I knelt and helped him lean forward. He grimaced as I got it off. I unbuttoned his shirt slowly, staring at his muscular chest down to his cut abdomen. I stripped him down until I could see the jagged, ugly wound down his flank.
“Grazed me,” he grunted. “It’s not that deep. Looks worse than it is.”
“You need stitches.”
“Glue and staples.”
“You really are insane, you know.” I got a clean towel from the bathroom and held it against his wound. “You have a doctor, right?”
“He’s on the way.”
“Good. You’re crazy, but not stupid.”
He grinned at me, eyes shining. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were worried.”
“Good thing you know better.”
“What would you do if I never came back?” His voice was deep and soft. His men lingered in the kitchen, talking in low tones.
“I’d go home.”
“What then? Marry someone else?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Would you let your brother sell you to some politically important bidder?”
I glared at him. “Like my sister sold me to you?”
He laughed then winced in pain. “Something like that.”
“Darren wouldn’t.” Although I wasn’t so sure.
“He would. You haven’t figured it out yet. We’re all malformed little creatures.”
“Darren’s not so bad. He cares, anyway.”
He was quiet for a moment. I checked the cut. The bleeding was slowing, but it wouldn’t stop on its own. Definitely needed to be stitched.
“I agree Darren’s not so bad. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I didn’t know you were going to.”
“He’ll try to take you back. It might come to violence.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. “I won’t let it.”
“You’ll talk to him for me? Tell him not to attack?”
“If I have to.”
“I knew you wanted me.” His smirk drove me crazy.
“Don’t be an ass. I just know that if you and Darren start feuding, the whole world might blow up.”
“And why’s that?”
“You’re both stubborn morons.” The front door opened and a small man with thick glasses hustled inside carrying a black bag. The guards brought him over and he immediately began to fuss over Kaspar.
He watched me the whole time as the doctor tended to the wound. I retreated away and when the stitches were done, I poured a whiskey and handed it to him. His eyes sparkled as he took a long drink, despite the doctor’s protests.
I said nothing as I went to bed, still draped in uncertainty, but sure about one thing: Kaspar believed what he said.
Only that didn’t make it true.
19
Penny
Present Day
Chicago
Kaspar fought several pitched battles with Maeve’s forces over the next two days. Their war overtook the city like a shadow, and they must’ve used their considerable influence to keep the sudden influx of violence and devastation out of the news.