Kaspar protected me. None of them would touch me, but I couldn’t help picturing the worst-case scenarios: beaten, bruised, taken against my will. These were men that didn’t give a damn about human dignity, and I was like an ant beneath their boots.
At least none of them were staying in the main house. The other structures accommodated them well enough, and I was only bothered by them when I ventured outside to watch the commotion.
They were training for something. Preparing some kind of attack. I didn’t know what type, but drones buzzed through the sky as they drilled in weapons and in small groups. Kaspar was going to attack someone, and he planned on doing it soon.
The men brought noise, chaos, and opportunity.
Cards taught me a lesson. Kaspar’s men were loyal, and even if they weren’t, he’d catch me trying to use them. They were a dead end.
He had eyes everywhere, but he wasn’t perfect.
More people meant resources were spread thin. The drones could only watch so much space at once, and the cornfields were a perfect screen. As I lounged around, sketching in a small notebook, drawing guns, angry faces, bodies in different poses, I kept an eye on the different paths I could use to run away.
Some part of me wanted to stay. It was a stupid, weak, horrible part, but I felt the draw toward Kaspar growing. His tongue was like heaven and hell, and when I came, I nearly lost myself completely. He left me a twitching mess, dreaming about his touch, craving it like an addict, weakened down to nothing. I was scared that I’d never get over this churning, mind-numbing lust.
Kaspar leaned against the back doorframe as I sat drawing some of his men lounging around an outdoor table drinking beer and laughing together. I looked back and flinched. How long had he been watching me? He could be so quiet sometimes.
“You’re pretty good.” He wandered over, looking down at the drawing in my lap.
“I haven’t drawn anything in a long time,” I admitted, turning the paper over so he couldn’t see it anymore. “I’m not any good, but it’s something to do.”
“I disagree. I think you have talent.” He leaned against the railing, studying me. “You’ve been watching the men lately.”
“It’s not what you think.”
He raised his eyebrows. “And what do I think?”
“It’s not—” I stopped myself. I was about to say, sexual. But he wouldn’t think that, not without lashing out. “There’s just nothing else to do.”
“I know you’re bored. It won’t last forever. We’re stuck here now, but soon things will be in motion, and you’ll wish you were back in the quiet again.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
He shrugged and looked out toward the corn. “I know you’re wondering how you can use all this to escape.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke and I studiously glared down at my lap, livid that he knew, and annoyed with myself for thinking for one second he might not. “It seems like a good opportunity if you hadn’t considered it yet. But don’t bother. Of all the people here, I’m watching you the closest.”
A shiver ran down my spine. A small group of men jogged past. I watched them go, avoiding Kaspar’s gaze.
His ever-present stare.
“I was thinking about making a break for the corn.” I spoke quietly and mostly to myself. “I figured the drones would have a harder time following me there.”
He nodded and squinted into the sky. “It’s not a bad thought. But which way would you go? Do you have any clue how far we are from other people right now?”
“I don’t, but we’re not on an island. Someone is somewhere, and all I have to do is run until I find them.”
“It would never work. The drones have infrared cameras.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Of course they did. Even if I got lost in the corn, they’d be able to pick me out using my body heat.
“You really thought of everything.”
His smile was strangely sad. He stood up suddenly and held out a hand. “Come with me.”
“Where?”
“You’re bored, right? Let me entertain you.”
I hesitated, then accepted his offer. I really didn’t have anything else to do, and besides, maybe I’d find some advantage in this.
I left my sketches behind as he led me down into the yard. More men drilled in the large courtyard between buildings, some of them doing calisthenics, some of them sparring with foam knifes and padded helmets. They kicked and punched each other, ferocious and deadly, and yet they all looked at Kaspar like he was the worst of them all.
The way they gazed at him made me think back bitterly to my stupid plan to use Cards against him.
I could be such a fool.
But then again, he let me fall into the trap. He wanted me to think I was lost, beaten, and left behind.