One
HOLLY
“So…. I— I didn’t get it.”
My lip quivered as I told him. It was a humbling admission, a shit end to a very shit day. But I felt better in saying it. Much better now that it was finally out.
“Oh honey,” Malcolm said, laying his hand over mine. “That really stinks.”
I took as much comfort as I could from my boyfriend’s touch. The promotion was mine, by every right. Among my team I had seniority, and I was certainly doing the best job. I’d even been working tons of extra hours for it, sitting at my desk late into the evening, until my ass was asleep long after I should be.
“They gave it to Louis,” I sniffed, choking back tears. All the way here, I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry. “Can you believe that? Fucking Louis…”
Malcolm nodded sympathetically. It was all he could do — his mouth was already full of another bite of cheeseburger.
“I—I mean, how the hell do you pick Louis, when he hasn’t even been—”
“Holly, stop.”
I looked up at him as Malcolm squeezed my hand. He handed me his napkin, which wasn’t exactly clean. I dabbed the corners of my eyes with it anyway, wondering if anyone else at the greasy little diner was looking at me.
“Please, give me your keychain.”
Keychain?
I blinked rapidly, driving the tears away. What could he possibly want with my—
Oh my God.
My heart soared. My whole body started to tingle. Suddenly all that nasty business at work seemed inconsequential.
He’s going to ask you to move in with him!
For the first time all day, a smile cracked my lips. I reached into my bag almost reverently, pushing past my phone. The screen was still shattered of course, from when I’d dropped it earlier in the day. But none of that mattered now.
Malcolm smiled as he took my all-too large keychain from my trembling, outstretched hand.
“I— I want you to know this means everything to me,” I said, trying once again to keep the tears at bay. But they were tears of joy this time, so I wasn’t trying all that hard. “Especially after the day I’ve had,” I sighed. “Especially after—”
I watched anxiously, waiting for him to bring it out — the key to his apartment. I’d been staying there three out of four nights a week, anyway. It only made sense for us to move in together.
Thank God.
After nearly two years of dating, of living alone in the concrete jungle of New York City, I’d finally have someone to come home to. And to think of all the rent money I’d save! Even after kicking in half with Malcolm, an offer I knew he’d take me up on because he was so frugal, I’d still be coming out ahead each month. Shit, this was even better than a raise.
More than that though, it was a sign of big progress. The advancement of our relationship. The next logical step in—
“I’m sorry you didn’t get that promotion Holly,” Malcolm said pityingly. “But if I’m being honest, I didn’t think you would.”
My eyebrows knit together. It was a cold thing to say. But that was Malcolm: brutally frank about everything, to the point of unflinching honesty. I’d thought it was heartlessness at first, but later on I realized it was only his personality.
Truth be told, I was used to it by now. Marcus approached life the same way he approached our accounting jobs: everything was all business.
“It makes this whole thing a little… harder.”
I watched, trance-like, as he manipulated my keychain. Instead of adding a key to it, he twisted it counter-clockwise and took one off.
“W—What are you doing?”
“Taking back the car,” he said simply.
“My car?”
My boyfriend suddenly looked uncomfortable. And he never looked uncomfortable.
“Holly I’m sorry,” he said. “This… this isn’t working out.”
The words didn’t register, no matter how many times my brain repeated them. I shook my head as if to clear it.
“What isn’t working out?”
“This,” he said, motioning casually back and forth. “Us. Our relationship.”
The realization finally hit me — like a brick being dropped from a 90-story building. The same building we worked at together. The building where we’d met and fallen in love… or at least I thought we’d fallen in love, and—
“It’s difficult for me to do this on a day you’re already disappointed,” he said.
“Difficult for you?”
He nodded, completely oblivious. “Yes. And that’s why I feel so badly. But Holly, please, search your feelings. If you do it honestly, you’ll come to the same realization I did.”
A hard lump formed in my throat. “And what’s that?”
Malcolm sighed gently. “This just isn’t worth it anymore.”
Isn’t. Worth. It. Anymore.
My heart dropped into my stomach. All of a sudden I felt sick.