“No need to answer now,” I said with a wink. “You guys take some time, think it over. But at least now you know my position. You know where I stand.”
My ‘position’ had been decided two minutes after slipping out of Kane’s bedroom last night. I could still feel their hands on my body, smell the scent of them on my skin. I could feel them inside me! Spreading me open. Filling me up…
Pinning me between them. Crushing me…
There was no doubt in my mind. I wanted it again.
Deftly I plucked the pan from between Maddox’s fingers. Dumping the burnt mess straight in the garbage, I grabbed a towel and began wiping it out.
“For now though,” I said, turning my ass on them. “You’d better let me make the eggs.”
Fifteen
DALLAS
The guys disappeared for the rest of the day, giving me time to rest and relax. It also gave them time to process what I’d said, and to think about how they wanted to handle our future, all beneath the same roof.
The good news was there didn’t appear to be any jealousy, at least outwardly. My biggest worry had been that one or more of them actually ‘liked’ me, and considering what we’d done, might now be resentful of the others. The last thing I wanted was to come between them. Except physically, of course.
Yet that was always the danger when guys got as close as they were. These men were brothers, in every sense of the word. Brothers fought over things all the time, and I’d vowed it wasn’t going to be like that. If what we’d done was actually going to happen again, there was only way to handle it.
I’d make myself available to all three of them… or none of them at all.
The other thing I’d been worried about was them treating me differently because I was Connor’s sister. That in some strange way, bedding me was a betrayal to my brother’s memory. I was glad that didn’t appear to be the case either, because I knew these men loved Connor as much as I did. They respected and admired him enough to dedicate the last year of their lives to protecting me, even after he was gone.
How could I not love that about them?
Love.
It was such a strange word, and one with which I was wholly unfamiliar. I loved my parents of course, and I loved my brother more than any other man in my entire life. But as far as relationships went, I’d never truly felt love before. I’d had short term boyfriends and even a couple of long term ones. Everything from fuck-buddies to friends with benefits to one lucky guy I actually celebrated a two-year anniversary with.
But it was never love.
I thought about all this as I soaked in the claw-footed tub, watching the steam slowly wind its way toward the ceiling. The water was so hot I could barely stand it — one more degree and it would scald my skin. That was the way I liked it though. Showers too.
These guys really loved Connor.
Absently, I rubbed my brother’s pendant with my thumb. They did love him, and perhaps that was why I was so attracted to them, even beyond the obvious sense. Physically they were gorgeous, each in his own way. Maddox was the blond-maned hot guy I’d always been attracted to, with abdominals I could get lost in for days. Austin was dark and handsome, as clean-cut and beautiful as a man could be. Even Kane, with his size and strength and brooding dark nature had me indescribably drawn to him. The way he’d just seized control had me more turned on than I’d ever been in my life, even before the others had joined in.
But beyond the physical, I could feel an emotional connection forming there too. An invisible bond between the three of them and myself. A special kinship… all because of Connor.
I sighed and lifted one leg, running the soapy loofah down over my calf. The guys had turned their noses up at my loofah, immediately upon finding it hanging from the shower spigot. I’d had to explain to them what it was, laughing the whole time.
They’re so raw, I thought to myself. So rough around the edges.
Maybe that’s why I liked them so much. I’d dated men… and I’d dated men. The three guys I was living with now were definitely the latter. As soldiers they were polished, disciplined, deadly. But as men…
As men they were big beautiful lumps of clay, ready to be molded by my overly-eager hands.
Yeah, right.
I laughed out loud again in the tub, then wondered if I were going insane. Maybe, I thought. It was definitely possible.
Then again, when you’d lost as much as I had, in such a short amount of time? You had to take whatever pleasures you could.
And I oh so planned on taking my pleasures.
Gradually my thoughts drifted back to last night. What the four of us had done together had been unspeakably hot. It would live in my memory forever; the pale blue shadows, the howl of the sandstorm outside…