“I said next question, Aria.” When he says my name his voice sounds deeper, smoky, and full of yearning.
He is looking at me with hope in his eyes, as he leans in close. Chill bumps fan across my arms. I hope he doesn’t try to kiss me. I don’t know that I will be able to resist the urge to kiss him back.
Tyler only takes the wine bottle and leans back. I feel slightly disappointed that he didn’t try. We stand for what seems like an eternity in an intense stare down, the two of us undressing the other with our own eyes. I feel like I am sucked into another universe with the way he is gazing at me. It confuses the hell out of me. It has always only ever been Brian to make me feel this way, and Tyler just breezes in and makes me feel things I shouldn’t.
“I’m calling it a night. I have a full day at the salon tomorrow, before my first shift at Indigo. You’re welcome to finish off the ass wine. Crash on the couch if you want to. I don’t want you drinking and driving.”
“Nah, I was about to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kisses my cheek with a whispered touch that hints of longing for more, before disappearing out the door in a flash.
I hear his motorcycle fire up and wish I could hop on the back of it and forget my worries for one night.
Slipping between my cool sheets, I wish more than ever that I had my little cuddle bug home with me tonight. If it weren’t so late, I would walk next door and bring him home. My phone chimes, looks like I have a new email from Brian. I take a deep breath and open it up.
Brian: It’s been nearly five years Aria. A simple hello would be nice. I don’t even know if you are still reading these, but I hope that you are, if you ever have at all. Do you still think about me? I drove by your dad’s place the other day. I even almost caught myself trying to go in without knocking. Your dad wasn’t home. I hope to run into him before I head back to Cincy. It would be nice to hear from you. I have been in hell since you said goodbye. I have tried to get over you, but I can’t seem to let go. Some days I think I hate you for all the broken promises we never made. How did you move on? I still live in my dreams with you. It will always be you.
Me: I hold onto hope that one day all of the stars will align and you will become mine once more. That’s what has kept me going Brian, the promise of you…
My phone chimes again and without thinking I go to check my new notification. My finger accidentally hits send. “No! Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck!” In all this time, not once have I been so stupid and careless.
I am a dumbass with a capital D. My phone starts chiming almost immediately with email after email from Brian.
Brian: Aria is this you?
Brian: Talk to me please!
What do I do now? How do I take something like that back? I mean, I love Brian, but I chose to lie for a reason. Could he ever forgive me? Would he ever forgive me?
Me: Yes, it’s me, but I can’t do this Brian. I’m sorry.
Brian: I just want to talk.
Me: I’m lost somewhere between the moon and the stars, so don’t try to find me…
It’s late enough that Jace should be asleep. I turn my phone off and do something I never do. I use sleep aid. I need to get to bed, and tomorrow is going to kill me. I can’t be up all night dealing with this. Tomorrow will be my first night working at Indigo. I’m a nervous wreck.
After dreaming of Brian all night, I wake feeling like a crazy person. In one of my dreams Brian was kissing me, or at least I thought it was Brian. However, when I opened my eyes, it was Tyler’s face looking back at me. I shake my fucked up dreams off and walk next door to get Jace.
He had a great time staying over with Caroline and her grandson. He’s already had breakfast, so he plays on his Nintendo DS while I get ready.
I dress in my red polo and khaki shorts that I am required to wear at the Beach Glow Tanning Salon. Taking my clothes for my first night at Indigo with me as well, I am thankful I can get ready in the employee bathroom to save me an extra trip home.
I drop my boy at daycare. Jace waves me off at the door without a second glance. He loves getting to play with the other kids.
Caroline is picking him up for me, and getting him to bed for Faye. I don’t know what we would do without Caroline, she is a Godsend. I wouldn’t be able to work as much without her. She checks in on mom for me and helps with Jace more than anyone should have to, but being a single mom, I take good help where I can get it.
For today being a Monday, the salon is quiet this morning. I hope this day picks up and doesn’t just drag by. I spot Tyler going for his workout at the gym connected to the salon. He usually comes over and says hi before getting started. Odd…then I realize he isn’t working out alone. There’s a short redhead drooling over his muscles and tattoos on the elliptical next to his weight bench.
It would be better for both of us if he did meet someone, but I do enjoy his company.
I check the tanning booths making sure they are stocked with everything; towels, bed cleaner, protective eyewear. As I work, I can’t stop thinking about Tyler dating. I don’t know why it bothers me. The more I think about him with someone who isn’t me, the more jealous I get. I don’t want anyone else on the receiving end of his smiles and the compliments he tosses my way. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I don’t want to lose him or our friendship.
I am dragged from my thoughts by my other boss. Chrissy is Bender’s daughter from his first wife and she manages both the tanning salon and the gym. “Hey Aria, getting your eyes full,” she says with a smirk, following my eyes to Tyler and his workout buddy.
“Nope.” I turn away from Tyler and pretend to be organizing the lotions behind the counter. “Did you have a good weekend? Anything exciting happen?” Sometimes she comes in and fills me in on some of the gossip from the clubhouse. Mostly about the whores who got into it with an old lady.
She types out a quick response on her phone before answering me. “Not really,” Chrissy says, as her phone dings. “You look real busy, I’ll just let you get back to work.” She scurries to the office in a flash while making a weird face at her phone.
Chapter Three