I am amazed that this wonderful man can find room in his heart for me. But, now I see why we are so drawn to one another. We’ve both sacrificed for those we love. I make a vow to myself to be the kind of woman that deserves his love. Life is too short. This past week is proof of that. I never could have imagined I would lose my mother and my first love in a week’s time.
Tyler spends the rest of the night showing me and telling me how deserving I am of his love. He rolls on top of me. Looking me directly in the eyes he tells me over and over again he loves me between kisses. Digging my nails in his firm ass I pull him closer to me. It feels as if my hunger for him will never be filled.
**
The next day, I have Tyler take me home so I can get Jace. There is so much I need to take care of.
I call my dad and ask if he knows what the arrangements for Brian’s funeral are. He gives me the information reluctantly, telling me that it might not be a good idea for me to go the funeral.
Jace will not have this taken from him too. He has every right to be there, even if he isn’t old enough to understand. Tyler is able to take time away from Indigo and the club so that he can accompany Jace and me home to West Virginia for Brian’s funeral.
I call Chrissy and explain to her that I am going to need a few more days off, and she says it’s not a problem, that Jessica can cover my shifts. She reminds me that if I need anything to call Bender. Like that will happen.
I tell Tyler that he doesn’t have to go to the funeral, but he insists that he wants to be there for Jace and me. He feels guilty that he wasn’t there for me when Faye passed away.
My mail stack is out of control, sorting through it may take me a year. There is a notice that the lease on the house will be up in twenty days. The owner wants me to call him and let him know if I plan to renew or move out. Another thing I will have to worry about after my trip back home to West Virginia.
Part of me is so scared to take Jace to the funeral. I know Brian’s mom is going to be so hurt and angry with me. I need to talk to her. I have to explain what happened. I hope she can forgive me for hurting her family and that she can accept Jace into her life. I will never get over what I have done to Brian, however, part of him lives on through Jace, and he will always remain a part of me as well.
**
The moment has come to board the plane, and I am so sick. My best friend and the father of my son is gone. He will now forever rest in his field of dreams. I only hope that when the time comes to really explain to Jace about his father he understands.
It feels odd to be bringing my new man home to meet my dad for a funeral.
I hope my dad likes Tyler. It feels so strange and yet so right when the three of us hand over our boarding passes.
Jace does great on the plane. He just has to sit with Tyler while I on the other hand get seated beside an older lady who wants to talk my ear off about organic fruit.
When we land, Tyler rents a SUV at the airport for us. We are staying the night at my dad’s. I cannot wait to hug his neck. I just wish I was coming home under different circumstances.
Driving through these mountain roads brings back so many memories. I feel like a ghost of my former self driving through my hometown. Tyler is getting a little carsick from the winding roads, therefore we pull over at a gas station, so I can take over the wheel. Jace has slept most of the way. I think the winding roads have managed to soothe him, unlike Tyler.
It is the edge of dark when we pull into my daddy’s driveway.
Images of Brian riding his bicycle down my lane pass through my mind briefly as I look up the street to where we used to play as kids at the playground.
“Home sweet home,” Tyler says with a soft smile. I am so anxious to see what my dad’s impression of Tyler will be. I know he is so excited to spend some time with Jace. He rarely gets to.
The porch light flickers on as my dad holds the front door open for us. He looks older than I last remember, but it has been more than a year since he last came to Florida for a visit. His hair has thinned and is now fully gray. “Well, come on in. Sis, it sure is nice to have you home.” He gives me one of his tight bear hugs.
“Easy old man, you’re gonna crack a rib.”
Tyler comes through the door with Jace shyly holding on to one of his legs.
“Come on and give Pops a hug,” dad says, squatting down and holding his arms open.
“Go on Jace, don’t be shy.” I pry him loose from Tyler. He reluctantly gives him a hug.
Dad sticks his hand out to Tyler, “Nice to meet you son.”
“Sir.”
“Now call me Jim, none of that fancy city talk for an old country boy like me.” he laughs and Tyler relaxes.
“Jim it is then.” Tyler shakes hands with him. They go on through the house talking football, or some sport that I don’t care to hear about. By the looks of them, they will get on with each other just fine.
I take mine and Jace’s bags to my old room and set Tyler’s in the guest room. I know better than to even think of sharing a room with Tyler under my daddy’s roof. Being in my old room is almost like taking a trip back in time. My daddy hasn’t touched it since I moved out. My dance trophies are still setting in the same spot. I lift the corner of my mattress and my old diary is still there as well. I pull it out and start skimming the pages. It is more like a timeline of Brian’s life while we were in high school than my own.