“Come on, sugar, let’s get you cleaned up.” I don’t miss the look of disgust she shoots at Wrecker.
I look back at him over my shoulder and my stomach lurches. There’s so much blood and those guys, they didn’t deserve that. They only did what I asked but it’s my fault. I knew Wrecker would flip out and I didn’t care. I only wanted to put him in his place. Look where it has gotten me.
**
I hardly remember getting in the shower. I just know TT shoved me in and set to cleansing me of the blood and gore. I almost told her to get her hands off me, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to clean myself without her help. Then she made me take a bath after that. I don’t even know what room I am in, but at least I am alone. After my bath, Sophie Ann came to me and made me drink a shot and take some pills she said would help me sleep. I slept for two days and I have no idea where Wrecker is or even if I want to see him right now.
Last time I blocked him out for two days, he fucked someone else. But when I mentioned it to Tiny, she said he’s been sticking to the security room and his own. He hasn’t taken another girl since our night.
Someone brought some food in and left it on the nightstand on a tray. I am famished. I gobble up the soup and grilled cheese sandwich in record time and my body is grateful for the nourishment. I’ve tried contacting my father but he won’t take my calls. I’m ready to get the hell out of here and away from Wrecker forever, he’s making me crazy. I thought I was over him. I thought I hated him but deep down I know that isn’t true. I hate myself for loving him. I hate myself for wanting him. Look at all the terrible shit we have done to each other. How do we move past it all? How do I forgive him when I can’t forgive myself? I may act all tough but I’m not.
I don’t even know how to tell him I lied about the abortion. When I first left I went to see my mother’s sister. They hadn’t spoken since my mom had married my dad, but she welcomed me with open arms and when I gave birth to my daughter, she promised me she would take care of her. And she has. Leav
ing her was hard but when I saw my father’s men start to show up in town I knew I had to. If I hadn’t my father and Wrecker would have dragged us home. I don’t want the outlaw life for her. I didn’t want her growing up like I did thinking she had a perfect dad only to find out he was a sleazy male-whore. I send most of the money I make stripping to my aunt to take care of Ellie. Being away from her kills me and I haven’t been able to check in on her since I have been here. Gladys is probably worried sick about me. I always call Ellie and tell her goodnight. Everything I do is to protect her and look at me, I am right back where I started.
I start debating on if I should call her now, but I don’t. What if Wrecker overhears the call? Or someone else and they tell him? I just can’t chance it at this time.
Chapter 21
Wrecker
After our explosive gore sex, I let Harlee have her space. And I kept true to what I told her, not touching another woman. No matter how many times I’ve gotten hard the last few days, I’ve kept it in my pants.
Really fucking hard when there are pornos and strip shows happening all the damn time, not to mention all the moans from the women that are fucking their johns. It would be so easy to grab a woman around this place just to empty my balls, but for the first time in my life, I want to be the man Harlee deserves.
She has no faith in me right now, and I get it, my track record is in the shitter, but I’m going to prove it to her.
I’m enjoying the lesbian action on the stage, and I wonder if I could convince Harlee to get in on something like that. I would love to watch her 69ing with another bitch, while I jacked off all over them. Or while I fucked Harlee in that position, blowing my load while the other bitch went back and forth between my balls and her clit. Fuck, I need to blow my load something bad right now.
“Hey, man.” Turning away from the show I look at Cort and give him a chin lift.
“What’s up?” Repositioning my cock, I swing around on my bar stool.
“It’s been quiet. Ever since you mutilated that guy, there have been no signs of anyone else near this place. I had a few guys patrol around the area, again nothing. I tried to get a hold of Demon, but he hasn’t rung me back. Even left messages with Ash and Briggs.”
I frown. “He’s probably trying to solve this shit on his own. I’d take Harlee out of here, but Demon told me to stay put until he gave me the all clear.”
“Yeah, man, probably. Also, should let you know, your sister has been calling. She’s pissed you didn’t tell her you were taking off.”
“I never tell her when I leave town.”
“Well, she’s mostly pissed that you’re with Harlee, and she’s also scared.”
“Why the fuck she scared?”
“Think about it, if Harlee comes back, she’s gonna beat the shit out of her.”
Fuck, forgot about that. “I already told Harlee that shit.”
“And she was cool with it?” Cort looks shocked.
“No, ‘course not. My sister became a whore, got knocked up by the man Harlee hates more than me. I would be shocked as shit, if we got back to the clubhouse and Harlee didn’t knock her on her ass.” Harlee in a catfight would be hot. Goddamnit, I gotta stop thinking this shit. I have the worst blue balls right now, I’m just making it worse. Would Harlee be pissed if I just got a blow job?
“How is Harlee doing after that shit show the other day?”
I shrug. “She keeps to herself. Said she wanted space.”
“And you’re letting her? I wouldn’t, man, space can be bad. She’ll get all in her head, and then you’ll end up back where you’ve been with her.”