I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“You love him?”
His question catches me off guard. It isn’t a bad question, but hearing it, I wasn’t expecting to hesitate to answer. I love Ezra, so why am I unable to voice it to my dad? Maybe I do love him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. I shake my head, feeling guilty for even having the thought. Ezra has been with me for two years. We’re perfect for each other, aren’t we?
“Caterpillar, I may not know much, but I do know that if you have to think about it…it isn’t a good sign.”
My face screws up at that. “I love Ezra. You don’t know how great he is, because you don’t know him.”
“True, I don’t, but you’re my blood and deep down in your heart of hearts you know I’m right. That’s why you’re getting upset. We don’t like hearing things about ourselves we aren’t ready to admit.”
I swallow and look away, because deep down, I know he’s right. Ezra and I are headed in different directions. He’s fulfilling his father’s wishes and headed in his footsteps. Soon, he will want a wife and a family. I’ve never had intentions of becoming a young mother or marrying before twenty-five. I want to travel and experience the world. I don’t want a loveless marriage like my parents had.
However, saying and doing are two completely different things. I agreed to move in with Ezra not even a few days ago, because I was so scared to lose him. I was afraid we would break up if I said no. I was afraid of how my life would change if he were no longer mine.
I change the subject and ask him to tell me more about Beth and we talk about her until the end of the visit. When I leave, I promise him that I won’t stay away anymore.
Chapter 4
Conleigh
“Sweetheart, why did you ring the bell? You know you have your key.” My mom looks at me like I have three heads.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
She shakes her head and brings me in for a hug. She squeezes me hard, nearly crushing me in her embrace, but as overbearing as she is, I do love my mom.
“You need to eat more. You’re skin and bones. Are you eating? Is something wrong?”
“I’m fine. I eat. I’m here for dinner, aren’t I?”
Her brows draw together as she pulls away. “Well, you had that spell in junior high.”
I roll my eyes and walk around her into the foyer to take off my jacket and remove my shoes. My mom’s house is more like a museum. Everything is clean and white. This house is so…sterile. It’s cold and growing up here once she married Ronald, I was afraid to touch anything.
My stepfather is an oral surgeon. He likes everything bleach white just like teeth. It’s kind of creepy when you think about it.
After kicking my shoes into the closet floor and hanging my jacket, I head to the dining room. Ronald is already seated at the head of the table with his sister, Beatrice, sitting to his left and her husband, Leo, to his right. Ugh. If I had known they would be here I wouldn’t have bothered. I suppose they are nice enough, but they go on and on about their son, Troy, and how fabulous he is doing at Berkeley.
It wouldn’t bother me so much if Troy wasn’t a pig, but he’s so gross. We aren’t cousins by blood, but still, I was raised to believe he was, and when I was fifteen, he grabbed my boob and made a honking noise. I still cringe at the memory.
“Conleigh, it’s a pleasure to see you,” Beatrice crows. “Troy is at the top of his class, he’ll be following in Ronald’s footsteps before long and be joining the practice. Did you ever decide on a major?”
“Special Education, but I was talking to my dad and—”
Before I can finish, I’m cut off.
“Your dad. Isn’t he in prison?” Leo questions as though the idea of my talking to him is ludicrous.
“He is, I spent the day with him.”
“What?” Ronald looks between my mother and me.
“It’s a program for prisoners and their children. A walk with God,” I inform them.
Ronald tosses his napkin down as though I have somehow insulted him.
Beatrice’s face is pinched and Leo coughs as my mother glares at me.