I was wrong…I’m not strong enough for one more night.
Neither of us are.
Fingers gripping me from behind he holds me in place and thrusts up hard and deep, so deep I think I will be feeling him into next week.
My heart aches but my body quakes.
“I want your eyes on mine,” he demands.
With a shake of my head I refuse him.
“Look at me, Liri. Look at me and tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” I admit, but I don’t dare turn around. I will break if I do.
“
Eyes on mine, baby,” Killian’s voice cracks, hoarse and full of emotion.
“No.”
“Damn it, Liri. You can give me this one thing.” He slaps me on the ass. “Look at me.”
My pulse races. There’s something else I can’t give him, and guilt eats away at me…all the things I wish I could say hang between us. The secret I’ve not told anyone.
The secret I plan to keep forever.
Rolling my hips, I grind on him, rocking back and forth until he shatters beneath me and his passion erupts inside me.
Sick with grief, I turn around and lay on his chest. His fingers massage my skin. I stare into his sad eyes on the verge of saying to hell with it and telling him the one thing that will send him back over the edge. “What would you have done if I had told you I was pregnant when you asked me about my birth control?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Just answer the question.”
“You and your questions…” he lets out a breath. “Panicked. Lashed out. Told you I hate you, because the world doesn’t need another fucked up version of me.”
“You don’t think you’d be a good dad?”
“A kid is the last thing I need. I need a kid like a hole in my head.” His fingers stop petting me. “But if you were pregnant, you’d tell me, right?”
I swallow hard and suck in a breath.
“Of course.” The words sound fake even to me, but he smiles and kisses me.
“I’m afraid to fall asleep,” he murmurs, but his eyes are already fluttering shut.
“I love you, Killian.” I kiss his knuckles and bring his hand to my stomach.
Pain shoots through me, and I hold back my tears until he’s asleep.
Chapter 21
Killian
Groaning and stretching, I let out a yawn and smile. That is until I reach across the bed and find it empty. Panic seizes me, and I jump out of bed and check in the bathroom first. I pray she’s in the shower or in the kitchen having her morning coffee. My heart pounds in my chest. Her empty side of the closet mocks me. I rush into the living room and that’s when I see it. The ring I gave her on the kitchen counter next to my keys along with a note. I close my palm over the ring and debate smashing it to pieces or throwing it in a river somewhere.
Instead I pick up the paper.