“I don’t hate you. Sometimes I wish I could. I want you to find happiness. It’s just not going to be with me.”
“You need to go get in the shower and get ready so I can take you to the BBQ at The Devil’s Playground to show you off.”
“Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“Never claimed to have it to start with.” He moves in close, breath fanning over my lips smelling of cigarettes and coffee.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Assume I’m going to kiss you.”
Hands sliding up either side my throat he holds my stare. “Who says I want to kiss you?”
My mouth drops. “You don’t?”
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
“I...”
“Yes or no question, babe.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what? I’m asking you. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Kiss. You?”
My pulse spikes and my stomach dips. “You’re making me nervous.”
“Since you wanna be all shy I’m gonna make this real simple for you. I’m gonna go start the shower. You’re gonna take these clothes off and clean up. I’m gonna start making some calls about selling this house and mine then see what’s what with a piece of property I’ve had my eye on. Then we’re going to the clubhouse so I can have a beer with my woman. Sound good?”
“Sounds crazy.”
“Never said I was sane.” He moves to stand.
“Hey,” I tug on his hand.
James peers down at me. “What?”
“You forgot something.”
“Nope. Think that covers it.”
“You forgot to kiss me.”
My man smiles big and wide flashing me his teeth through the unruly jungle that makes up his beard. He comes in slow and sweet, cupping my jaw as he descends back to my bed. Mouth fusing with mine he makes love to my mouth softly.
James pulls away much too soon for my liking. “Know what?”
“Hmm?”
“I think we’re gonna be late.”
“Very.” I pull him in for another kiss knowing I must be insane. He’s giving me everything I ever wanted. I’d be a liar if I said I’m not terrified that I’m going to wake up and find this to all be a dream. Ruthie kept us apart for the past eighteen years. Put us both through hell. I never thought this day would come. He’s saying and doing all the right things, but every bone in my body screams for me to run fast and hard. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to give him my heart a second time. “Can it really be this easy?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Ruthie...after everything. She’s just gone from our lives? She’s walking away and leaving you alone for good. I don’t trust it.”